Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
Hello I'm new and overjoyed that I found this site. My son who is 30 years old now. Was sent to prison. He did something so stupid that words can't even begin to explain. I'm so mad and upset that I just don't know what to do. I'm the only one who is having anything to do with him. Everyone else has abandon him. I feel guilt when I don't have time to write but when I read his letters i get so sad. His life is ruined. And I can't do anything to fix it. Whats worst is he doesn't see that. I guess that for the best he might give up if he did. How do you cope with this pain ? I keep wondering did I fail him some how. Please tell me how some of you deal with it
First and foremost let me say that YOU did not fail him (unless you were in on whatever has landed him in this situation). Everything he did was his choice. His actions have consequences. So...NEVER blame yourself.
I'm sad that you have to go through this but sometimes kids have to make the stupidest mistakes for them to learn. And sometimes getting caught and incarcerated will prevent the planning of a funeral. (I think of my sister and her daughter who's an addict when I say this.)
Hugs to you x
I'm new to group. I understand your pain and guilt. Your words were my words almost three years ago. While I'm in a better place spiritually today, I still have my moments of guilt...what could I have done more or differently. We have to let our kids be the young adults that they are and make their own decisions in addition to suffering the consequences of those decisions. We can stand by them supporting them emotionally which is what I'm finding out is most important to my son. In order to do that, I have to be strong physically, emotionally and spiritually. This gives me the strength I need to encourage my son as his situation and mental state changes from day-to-day. You cannot successfully be there for you kid if you are not in a emotionally strong. Remember to take care of you. Also you cannot do anything about others abandoning him. My son only has me as well. It still hurts him but I let him know whenever anyone asks about him. Because people don't write doesn't mean they don't care or praying for him. Don't check out of life. Set conversation boundaries about your son's situation with others if you feel they are not genuine about asking. Some people want info to gossip so guard your feelings for your own sake. Supportive family is key for you as well. If you cannot talk to a family member or pastor, seek a professional. It helps. I'll check in again soon. Have a blessed day.
Ms.TeeTee
Have a blessed day!