Maybe your son can bond with someone in there that will be good for him and watch out for him. Sometimes an older inmate may sort of adopt the ones that need help.
I guess I would contact the caseworker and express your concerns so they make sure he is on the right med's and kind of watch out for him.
Don't always listen to what you hear about what goes on in there. Lots of it is exaggerated. Talk to Rewdiazepam, he was in prison and knows the real story of how prisons are and what can be done.

What is GBI?

This is going to be tough on you both. Sometimes it seems it's harder on us, because we don't know what is happening in there to them. We hear many things and get so scared.

My son was in prison a couple times, and my fiance has been in and out many times. Mostly they say its boring.

Your son has to stay away from the bad ones, and focus on himself. He can't seem stuck up or aloof. Just has to be careful to shut his mouth. Very tempting to get like one of the bad guys and talk " shit" as they call it. That he can't do.

I think he can get some sort of schooling in most places. Shouldn't be because of his condition he can't. IF he can focus on it. It will give him something to do, and he would meet other guys and be put in groups to work on projects.

Talk to his caseworker. It may help. Some are actually ok people. Some just are there to get a paycheck.

As a mom, we are naturally made to protect them. You can only do so much. He will eventually learn how it works in there and what he has to do to survive.

My son and fiance both said it's nothing like you see on tv. Mostly just long and boring.

Get him magazine subscriptions. Write to him, take his calls, go see him if you can. Keep him informed of what's going on out here with the people and places he is familiar with. Promote him to do craft projects as many of them do to fill their time.

Thank you for your response ihatewisc. GBI is Great Bodily Injury and that enhances any sentence you are given. Thank you for your support I really need this in this horrible nightmare I am living. I hope all is well with your son now and your fiance. Thank you again.

I sent you several private messages.

rewdiazepam

I can't say it is easy , but I can say things will get better. My mom was incarcerated and it was a huge change people picked on her because she was a new inmate and soon enough it will get easier.

You are welcome. It is a hard time to go through, but day by day it does get somewhat easier even though you don't think so right now. You learn to cope with it the best you can.

Stay busy. It keeps your mind on other things and it gives you things to talk about to him. They love hearing about life out here, what you are doing, what has happened. Keep him in the loop of things so he feels a part of his life out here.

Remember that people can be cruel. What I did is the people that were negative about my guy or son, are fools. They think it could never happen in their lives. Did we? So I just don't associate with those people anymore.

Until it happens to you, you can't begin to understand any of it.

We know as mom's and wives, girlfriend's and sisters of these guys who they really are. Everyone makes mistakes.

As a mom we have unconditional love for them. Just keep that up. Be supportive and loving to him. What he does, does not define who he is. He is still that little boy you held on your knee and close to your heart all his life. He is still the sunshine in your life.

You learn to appreciate the little things like hearing his voice on the phone or those sterile, monitored visits. They become your new normal, and precious.

When my son was in, I used to walk in and cry. He would make fun of me, saying Boooo Hooo mamacakes, don't cry. He once said I am where I need to be. If I had stayed out there I could of gotten in worse trouble or be dead. He learned. He is now a great daddy to 3 girls and 2 stepkids. He has a nice home, nice things and is a really good son, grandson and father. It took time.

I never expected he would turn out this good, and he credits it to being caught and held accountable for what he did. He needed a wake up call he said.

They learn who to talk to in there, and to keep busy with classes, jobs, crafts, reading, and more. He got his GED in prison. There are good points to the whole thing.

You will learn new ways to entertain him. Join a fitness center if he wouldn't expect you to. Moan and complain to him how much your muscles hurt. Make him laugh. Tell him you are taking a yoga class if it's totally out of character for you to do that.

Get involved in things. It will help you, and him.

I sent mine pictures, so he could see what was happening around here. I send articles from the newspaper about local things he might be interested in.

For my fiance, I did a genealogy search of his family, found many fascinating things, and sent them all to him. He loved waiting for his mail.

My son was in for 4 years. I thought I would die. But I made it.

My fiance was in for 3 and a half years, got out, went back in for 2 more years, 10 months later. If I can survive that, you can too. It just takes a strong person. Get over the part where you lay around and cry and DO something every single day. Even if it's for a little bit. Take baby steps til you can take giant leaps. He will be proud of his mama and it will form a bond with him more than you already have. Someday he will thank you, in whatever way he chooses.

My fiance is bipolar and definitely has anger issues. There are therapists he can see. If it is on record, they will monitor his medications, and change them if they aren't working. It is their legal obligation to take care of their medical and psychological needs because they can't get the help they need by themselves. It's in the constitution.

It does harden them for awhile, but still underneath all the protective nature that they learn, they still usually come out that same person they were before. Sometimes improved.

My fiance always finds some poor kid that needs a mentor. He befriends them, helps them with school work, or gets them involved in craft projects that will give them a sense of pride. You will have to order the supplies for him. They tell you what companies you can use.

My fiance needs something to keep his mind sound and not angry, so he does all these things and loves his job too. They pay almost nothing, but it gives them a purpose to the day.

I want to put these things in your mind. Maybe out here, he wouldn't take his med's right, or at all like mine doesn't. Maybe he wouldn't go see a therapist for his problems. In there, they pretty much have to take them and go to therapy if it is ordered. It gives them time to adjust to the medications and learn how to cope. If the med's aren't right the nurse or doctors will get them on different ones. Out here they just give up. So he may come out better.

Hi mom I know exactly what you are going thur my son hasn't been sentenced yet but he is facing a slew of charges. I don't know how much time he is facing and I am scared to death. My son is 32 and is bipolar. A sweet person until his illness kicks in then he does stupid things, which has landed him in the position he is in today. Your story sounds like mine and I feel for you. This all so new to me as he has only been locked up a week ago. But I can't eat, I can't sleep, all I do is cry and I try not to let on to my family and friends the real pain I am going thur. I believe this is God's way of stopping him... to get the help that he so desperately needed for so many years ( his bipolar ) that he refused to get. He is not a mentally strong person smart but not mentally strong. I pray for his strength, and mine to get thur this. I feel so alone. My friends and family care but they don't really know what I am going thur. I don't want to burden them. I pray for you and you situation. He gave to try and stay strong for our sons. God bless you .If you would like to keep in touch maybe we could be some kind of support for each other.

Hi I have been out of it for awhile and very depressed. My son got called for the prison bus this morning and still again crying and can't stop. I thought I was strong but I am not. I am so scared for my son. Just wanted to give you an update. Hope you all are well. Much Love.

I do understand how you feel today after hearing he is on the way to prison. My daughter just made the journey to her destination a little over a year ago. She has an 8 year sentence. As hard as it is too face what lies ahead of you are both going to be alright. I cried for a week. It takes time to accept what your new norm is going to be. When my daughter was in county she couldn't sleep because the lights and the tv were on 24/7.
She started work in the kitchen soon after her arrival and that helped occupy her mind.

Write him daily even if it is a short note. It will help both of you. I take pictures of all kinds of things like a new lamp, rooms in our house, citrus growing on our trees, etc and send to her. I usually send our bulletin from church every week. You will figure it all out over the next few weeks. Study the prison web site and learn everything you can about the visiting and mail rules. You may be able to talk with a case manager about his meds. REW can tell you more about the meds. It will help you feel better if you are inforned. Peace be with you

Thank you.

I'm new to this group. I hear your heartache because I've been through it. Today I help others get through those long nights, foggy days and fearful thoughts. One place to start is my book Hope in the Ruins - A Rescue and Recovery Plan for Hearts in Crisis. It was written from experience, from the heart for the hurting. It's on Amazon. I'm not trying to make a couple dollars - I have a proven process to help you find hope again. There is hope in the ruins! Today my son is out doing great things...not even his felony charge or five years probations stopped God from finding purpose in the pain. Mama, you are embraced by hope and there is strength, peace, joy and a future in those strong arms of Jesus.

Hi. I have been a part of the group for 16 months. My partner was arrested in October 2013 and spent nine months in county, then went to a state prison for four months, and then to a boot camp, where he is now finishing his sentence. He was sentenced to 2 1/3-7 years but his time was shortened dramatically by the boot camp option. Not every state offers this alternative, and I know we are very fortunate that he is heading home a lot sooner than we thought at the beginning.
I really feel for you. I remember how overwhelmed, confused, shocked and heartbroken I was when this first happened. I could barely function; I left my job, suffered with insomnia, had no appetite, and could barely speak with people. The first few months was physically grueling, because of the insomnia. So my advice to you is, take the very best possible care of yourself that you can. Sleep whenever you can. Eat healthy, nourishing food. Let others help you. Ask for help, and accept it when it comes. Talk to people who support you and love you. Read books about grieving, about hard times, about other people who have struggled with some terrible loss or tragedy. If you believe in a higher power, pray and ask for help. Take breaks during the day and during those breaks do this exercise- breathe in through your nose, deeply, saying to yourself, "I am breathing in calm and peace." Exhale through your mouth, saying, "I am breathing out fear and panic." This may sound strange or new agey, but it is a very healing exercise. Write letters to your son. Visit if you can. When you visit, don't allow the guards to make you feel afraid or ashamed. Just maintain your composure and treat everyone with courtesy. Advocate for your son through his counselor, especially if he needs medical attention.
Last but not least, try to remember that this is temporary, and it will get easier, I promise.
God bless you and your son.

Angeladam, that was awesome advice. WOW you have came a long way!!! I remember all those times we talked when you were so distraught. You really have weathered all of this so good, and are an inspiration to other people.

To you new people on here, yes, she did go through all of this and became so strong. Got through all the rough things, and now is almost done.

We all go through many financial hardships, tension, sadness, depression.listen to anyone's advice that has suffered this and got through it. You may not think you can survive it, but you can. I am on another journey through the same stuff as a couple years ago. Mine got violated 10 months after he was out. But I am not quite as much of a mess this time. You do learn to adapt to the situation. You still cry, but not as much.