Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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/ Families of Prisoners Support Group

Hello!

TDFam
TDFam

I'm new to this group. Just joined today. I have a family member who has been incarcerated for more than 20 years now. He and I were once very close before he went into prison. Over the years it has been harder and harder to maintain that relationship since the prison is hundreds of miles away. I used to wite him often but over the years it became apparent that he was not coming home anytime soon. It's unfortunate because although he was present, he did not commit the actual crime. All the people who did have been released and resumed their lives but he's still stuck there. The demands of life outside have kept me from visiting. Plus I just don't want to see him in that environment. I was very young when he went away and had to learn to navigate life. He slowly became a lesser part of my life. I love him dearly but don't know how to build a relationship based on the people we are today. Any insight? Thanks.

Ebony
Ebony
I completely understand! My brother is in prison serving his fifteen year sentence and has been there for eight. Hardest thing I have ever been through and I've been through a lot. I never understood it but I just couldn't write or visit him often. Not sure if its because I don't want to face reality or accept it. Visitation for me is always the worst because I leave and he's still there. A week ago we finally spoke and I told him I needed to talk about serious things. Told him I'm sorry for making him feel a banded and how selfish I am. I told him we need to help each other get through this. Not sure how long your family member has. You stated he's been there for more then twenty and I think its pretty awesome how you kept in contact for that long! I'm also seeing a therapist and that also helps. I wish you the best of luck because I understand what you're going through. Xo
Ms.901996C
Ms.901996C
Hello TDfam and Ebony.

I'm not sure if I can help give you any insight with your issue but I think I'd start by making him a bit of a priority if you want to build back a relationship with someone you've been estranged with.

Buy a bunch of different postcards and stamps. If you don't have an hour to sit and write a long letter, send him one of those with a funny note every once in a while. It takes a few minutes and let's him know you were on his mind.

I believe that our inmates understand that we have busy lives but it means the world to them if someone takes a few minutes out of their day to let them know they're not forgotten.