Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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cmorton557 10/08/2013

What do I do to prove to him how much I love him? I'll wait for him. I'll be here for him. I'm doing all this work and suffering through the agony of being without him and he mentions in my letter to me that he wouldn't be upset with me if I stopped waiting for him...

He also said "you better not be hanging out with other guys while I'm here. You know how jealous I get." That is the last thing on my mind. I have been consumed with fears of missing him and loving him and trying to make things easy for him. To get him out of there.

How can I make him understand that he means the world to me and I'm waiting? Its only special when its with someone you love so deep that your hearts melt together in passion. That's all i want and I have that with him.
Suggestions? How did you explain to your men that you'll be here when they are free? That he has nothing to worry about? And that your heart belongs to him and him alone. I have given him no indication that I want to be with anyone else. He is it for me. Even if the wait is many years long... There's nothing I wouldn't do for him. I know that sounds like a cheesy love song but its true. A little help? I have to ease his concerns... the right way so he'll believe me and won't be troubled by things like that.

rewdiazepam 10/08/2013

I have a good idea if you want to convince him.

Open Microsoft Word or any word processer. Go back to all your posts here on the board and all the PMs you have sent everyone.

Copy and past everyone of those posts and messages into Microsoft Word. Print all that out (should be several pages) and mail it to him. Explain to him that this is copies of all your posts on a prison support board.

If that doesn't convince him of your honorable intentions, nothing will.

rewdiazepam

Suchaslife 10/08/2013

TELL HIM TELL HIM!!
my man did wonder the same thing I told him to re read some of my letters I always tell him how much I miss him and can't wait for him to come home.
Rew that is a awesome idea! Also do the same with your journal......also tell him you will tell him the same thing when you see him!
Hugs me

mtbfan 10/08/2013

Great advice Rew. I know guys may also have a little more pride since they are supposed to be the providers and make you feel safe. He feels like he can't give that to you know and his insecurity is showing. He does not really mean it, and I think he just wants your reassurance. So, just keep reassuring, no matter how many times. Soon, he will see that he can trust and believe you, and I bet it makes him feel good to keep hearing it from you.

cmorton557 10/08/2013

Rew, I think he'd think I was crazy and run for the hills if I showed him any piece of what I've written here. I haven't even told him I'm talking about this to anyone. He's so private that he may find it crazy that I'm telling others his problems..and mine... Good idea, but I need him to feel safe not like running for the hills... ha ha... even I can admit in some of this, I'm sounding a little on the rocky crazy side...

cmorton557 10/08/2013

I do tell him. In every letter. I say I miss him, I tell him how much I care for him. I tell him that my days are spent trying to help him. I tell him how much he means to me and that I'll be here for as long as this takes and until he's finally home with me... I don't know how much more I can asuure him of my support. But I'll keep telling him until I'm blue in the face...

bambosnipes 10/08/2013

Mine tells me that he knows I'll stay and be faithful because I always answer his calls. It's making sure we are always in contact and on the same page with our schedules and such. Plus I always get things done for him on the outside when he asks (phone calls, getting contact info, etc.) It's been my actions along with my words that reassure him every time.

ThoughtAsWeak 10/08/2013

Cm, he just needs to be constantly reminded. He knows how much you love him and willing to wait, but he hears too many stories of wives and GF leaving. Even after 16 mo, I still have to remind hub in every letter that I love him, miss him and will wait for him. That I will not leave.

Dint take it that he doesn't believe you, he is just overwhelmed with the negativity, and without a daily interaction, his fears take over. Think of him as a child afraid of the dark. You just have to remind them that it's ok, and you are always there for them.

ihatewisconsin 10/08/2013

They all go through that where they will give us our " out" if we want it. They are getting told by the other guys that we won't wait. It's a scare tactic, or something. They want to frazzle them. BUT sometimes when they are feeling down, they think we would be better off without them. Until we can convince them otherwise. Sometimes they say it just to hear you say you will never leave them. They need that reinforcement.

Oh yea, mine used to think I would cheat. OMG I have went through this 4 times with him, and other rotten things he did in the past and yoo hoo, did ya notice Mr Wonderful, I am stil here??? That's just part of this process they go through. Don't worry so much about it.

cmorton557 10/09/2013

He told me in a letter that a man was served divorce papers and killed himself a day later. I think that that is where he is feeling insecure. He's asked me if I was only with him these past three years.. I am honest and yes, he's been it. I just want him to know how much he really does complete me.. I feel so bad that he's going through all this and seeing so many horrible things... I will never leave him.. we may not be married... but in my eyes, there's no one else that could handle me... I'm quite the royal pain.. He's seen me in my worst..and still he's mine..

brandnewangel 10/11/2013

send him lyrics to Mumford & sons I will wait :) what I do is go online and look up quotes,song lyrics,buy cards(this can end up costing quite a bit) talk about your future that will help him big time plan your wedding(if you plan on marrying) talk about how you will be when you pick him up,how you want to decorate your place

deleted_user 10/11/2013

I love all the suggestions! I deal with this with my man. I do understand though if you have dealt with people leaving you throughout life. Best thing is be patient and keep reminding him of your love. In tough places or situations those insecurities really can overwhelm a person.

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