Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
My guy has 28 days to the door and we have fought like everyday, is this normal he gets mad when I'm at work and can't talk we talked for 103 minutes this morning and called again and I said I'm sorry I have to go I can't talk he lost it, it's like this everyday lately. I'm hoping it's just cuz he is getting out soon and not that we have a lot worse/more issues than I already know we are gonna face! I'm worried nor do I appreciate being treated like that cuz he knows it upsets me too when I can't talk
This is pretty typical of an inmate just about ready to be released, so I would not worry much. I call it the "prison departure blues."
He is scared. He has some apprehension on getting back into the free world. In prison they do everything for you----your laundry, cook and serve your meals, tell you when lights are out at night and when to get up, tell you when you can and cannot take a shower. You don't have to worry about things like the car breaking down---there are no cars in there---the utility bills that must be paid---you have free utilities in there----about the next paycheck---you don't even receive a paycheck.
Everything is done for you in prison, so you really have very few responsibilities. But now he knows things are about to change. He does not know how it will be out here in the free world form him.
The fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all.
My lady friend and I used to write five or six pages a couple of times a week. When it got down to the last couple of months, I was stressed. So stressed that I almost completely stopped writing. Why? I don't know. I cannot explain it to this very day. She mentions this every once in a while, and I still do not have the answers.
I think being released is such a mixture of joy and apprehension that you just shut down. You become snappy, you argue much more than ever, you are on edge.
His crabby attitude is not against you. He is dealing with a WHOLE lot right now. Some of the things bothering him are-----what will I do for a job, will people look at me differently now that I have been in prison, will I be accepted, can I make it OK out there? The questions going through his mind are endless.
He will be OK. Just overlook this period. Once he gets out and see how things are, things will be back to normal.
Being released from prison is a joyous occasion, but it sure plays hell with your nerves.
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Cantwait, I think it's a good idea to keep a completely open mind for the next year. Seriously. Your guy and you have been through so much, separately. You both need lots of time to recover, reconnect, and start feeling "normal". Try to see everything that happens as okay. Unless it gets ugly, of course- but try to just move through the time calmly and with acceptance that things will be all right.