Families of Prisoners Support Group

This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.

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Gained and lost at the same time

caseman22
caseman22

So an old friend was involved in what he thought was protecing himself and got 20 years in prison. We haven't talked in many years. No reason. Just grew apart and moved and moved on with our lives. We now talk weekly. I send him emails a couple times a week or more. A lot of time I just talk about I am doing for hobbies and what happened in life. Just telling him stories really. Sometimes I don't know what to say or don't want to say anything too deep so that I won't sadden him. I have also became friends with his wife and we talk almost every day. It is really hard some times to say what he needs to hear. Maybe someone can elighten me. I seem to be able to cheer her up if they have a bad phone call. Sometimes he is just not happy, Gee I wonder why. He sort of has a target on his back which makes things worse. 


Any advise would help.


Thank you

arfie
arfie
That can, indeed, be a toughie, Caseman. My prison penpals tell me it's the little things they miss most. Most of my letters are random stories from my day. Filling up at the gas pump. Bumping into a neighbor. A scene while picking up kids from school. Catching the eye of a stranger while waiting at a stop light. Whatever. I include as many random details as I can in hope that they can feel they are part of the scene.

The biggest thing is to keep on responding. Outside contact helps, tremendously.
caseman22
caseman22
Thanks arfie. I guess they don't get the emails right away or maybe he doesn't always feel like responding? I know he enjoys my emails. A lot of times he reads them over and over. Just so much to deal with and his wife is a mess. I can't imagine what she is going through.
brandnewangel
brandnewangel
Is the emails through jpay? I sent my friend a couple emails and they were so out of order he didn’t understand half of them ...some didn’t even get delivered...
GrandmaBK
GrandmaBK
caseman, It is true that when you are inside, things you miss are like feeling the wind blow on your face. One man said he just wanted to feel the bark on the outside of a tree. Describing a sudden heavy rain that caught you off guard when you were outside, that might distract him and remind him of what he will have one day.
Even your effort to write to him and talk to his wife means a lot, I am sure. It is very kind of you,
caseman22
caseman22
brandnewangel - yes, they are through jripoff i mean jpay? They do get delayed a couple days sometimes. It is annoying. I guess they have to read them all so.. idk
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