Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
Do you argue with your guys over things that seem so trivial? I find that if my guy calls me after I've been crying I get mad at myself and the call turns into an argument...I take my anger at myself out on him. I accused my guy recently of calling his daughter more than he calls me... That wasn't true at all and now he thinks that I resent his kid. Of course I don't. I know he tries to give equal attention to me as well as his kid...but I find that I feel upset if he calls her on a night but doesn't call me... I'm trying to step out of my life and put myself in his shoes...Its hard for me to do that but if I'm going to make it with him I think that is what I need to do... I don't know what is right to do anymore. he is now upset at me and punishing me by not calling. he can't write as he has no supplies. I hate when he does this but I deserved it... I wish I could take back the words I say sometimes... I've written him to apologize but that doesnt help how sad I feel right now... thoughts?
You're still in the midst of a lot of confusing emotions. You are probably acting on feelings that aren't going to last. Give yourself some time- plenty of time!- to process these things without talking to him about them. When your feelings settle you'll be able to talk calmly and then he'll be able to hear you, because he won't feel attacked. Remember, he's angry at himself, too.
You can have any feeling in the world, but you don't have to act on it. Just try to let it pass and then look at it calmly. Journalling might help.
Inmates have a lot of things to deal with behind the walls. They are doing time with other people they have never seen before and probably do not even like, yet they are forced to live, eat, and be with these guys 24/7.
On top of that, they have so many rules and regulations they must contend with. Serving time in prison is not really living, it is just existing.
For all these reasons, the last thing an inmate wants to hear when he calls someone on the outside is DRAMA; the last thing he wants is to argue.
cmorton, I know you are a basket case and confused, but if you continue with all this drama, he will just quit calling at all. He doesn't want to hear things like "you call your daughter more than me."
He doesn't need to hear something like that. Don't act spoiled and don't act petty. You know I care about your situation, as I do everyone here who posts, and this is why I am telling you this. I am not trying to put you down or make you feel like you never do anything right, but you need to think before you speak.
You are hurting, he is hurting. The poster yvonda who said maybe you two should stop communicating for a while was spot on. You are not dealing very well with his incarceration, and I know he must be getting aggravated with you at times.
No, neither one of you is at fault. But you do need to stop the drama. He is having a very difficult time in there. Prison is never a cake walk.
There is no sense in bringing up a bunch of trivial things because he is not in a position to help anyway. He cannot solve any problems or help you with your emotions, as he is locked up in prison.
I hope you don't take offense with what I have said. But having been an inmate, I just want you to know how he feels.
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