Families of Prisoners Support Group
This community is dedicated to families that have been disrupted by prison. Having a loved one incarcerated or having been incarcerated comes with its own unique challenges that require support and understanding. Join the group to find others who know what you're going through, and to seek advice or share your experience.
He says he loves my letters but then he says that he's so busy writing me back that he doesn't have time to read. Do I write too much? He didn't say that he minded. He just said he's had no time to start reading his books. ha ha.. He's something else. I write him probably on a daily basis. Weekends are tough to write him because I don't have a working printer at home but I write him and print it the next working day.. He told me the guys said that he gets a lot of mail. They said, why is it all the new guys get all the mail?" They all know a bit about me I guess. And how much I care about him and that I'm out here waiting for him. He is worth the wait. Its like awaiting the biggest christmas present you could imagine. I keep having dreams of him being released and me rushing to him.. Of course, that's not allowed in a court room but that is the dream I have had... He calls me sundays and at least once during the week. He gives me purpose. I have been calling so many lawyers that its crazy. I talk about everything on our letters. He sends his once or twice a week but his is lengthy... over a span of days.. I send mine daily.. is that too much? Should I back off a little and give him time for reading or should I just keep doing what I already am? thoughts?
The guys who make those comments probably don't get much mail if any so it might be a bit of the green eyed monster comeing out with them. Mail is a big deal in there for them. We still get comments on how much me and D write we think its funny.
Just keep doing what your doing :)
Inmates like to think and put forward the image that we are strong individuals, and in most cases we are strong in an emotional sense, but I will tell you a little secret: all inmates are a little insecure.
We have been put in a place around guys we do not know--and many times do not even like--and asked to fit in. We need help and many times that help is in the form of a piece of paper stuffed in an envelope with a stamp on it.
You might ask why we might be insecure. We are always afraid that you SOMEDAY might quit writing us, that someday you will FORGET about us. We may have other inmates around us in a physical sense, but spiritually we are in there all alone. We always have the lingering fear that you, like so many others, will cast us aside. We don't talk about it, as that would ruin our manly image, but the thought is always there.
So many other people have disowned us and cast us aside, that we are always hoping with all our heart and soul that you will not do the same.
I can remember mail call as if it was yesterday. The CO would come out and call an inmate's name and hand him his letter. At this point, we were like little children, like the little boy looking for a toy at mall. The anticipation and hope is on each of our faces. When our name is called, our faces literally light up with happiness, and yes, we are assured that we do in fact, matter and someone still loves us.
Like all human beings, we need to feel as if we COUNT to someone--as if we MATTER in this world. We have to have some contact with the outside world to prove to us the someone still LOVES us enough to pick up a pen and write us a letter.
Our biggest fear is that we will be abandoned by everyone while in prison.
Letters to an inmate are a treasure. We are giddy at mail call when we hear our name. We eagerly open the letter and anxiously read it and it reassures us the we still matter and that we are still loved.
We read and re-read and read and re-read that letter dozens of times. We hide and hoard those letters like it was a cache of gold. When we have a weak moment or are feeling especially down in there, what do we do? We reach for that letter that a loved one has written us. We re-read it and it confirms our hopes and dispels our fears that we will be left alone.
We need those letters as much as we need the oxygen we breathe or the food we eat. We need emotional nourishment. Those letters are a gift of life that enables us to go on every day and HOPE for a better tomorrow.
Inmates are inmates, but they are also people. Like all people, we want to be loved, to be a part of someone's hopes and dreams.
We need to be reminded of all these things often.
So, ladies, keep those letters coming. Sometimes your letters is all that enables us to keep our sanity and look to the future.
rewdiazepam
So yea, it's important to keep writing them. I wrote ALOT at first, then with 5 calls a day, cut down to a couple a week. He complained about it, and I asked what the heck I would write when we talked so much and I visited 2 to 3 times a week. But it was still that important to him, so I tried hard to send a few letters a week, even if they were just droning on about any old thing, so he knew I was thinking about him.
It paid off. I got the man home, so loving and wonderful. He wants to make my life better for seeing him through all 3 plus years, and struggling so hard. He is doing an awesome job of it too.
They do appreciate it, and need it. NEVER think you write too much. They WILL find time. What's more important, what you have to say or some silly book?