Welcome, I kmow you must be overwhelmed right now. You will get help here and no judgement.
You and your children and their Christmas Peace are the most important thing this week.

Take care of you you you this week. Be there in the moment for your kids right now.

His problems right now can wait for one week. they will still be there.

that is not to say to not do anything for him but it is to say this is probably going to be a long haul even if hes completely innocent.

He is an adult and should not push you about anything this week. you and the kids need to adjust to a new normal.

Im so sorry you and your faamily are going thaough this. Just remember you are stronger than you think and we are here for you to lean on cry to and vent to.

Sending you prayers and peace, Cindy

I don't think a lawyer referral from guys on the inside is a good idea, especially since she doesn't appear to be competent in the subject matter. Was she their attorney? Look where they are!

Whatever attorney you get, however, will be acting on his behalf and he should have some say in it. I wonder if you can get the professional review of the attorney you like and the one he likes, and make a comparison to show him the differences in education, experience, and peer reviews, for example. Maybe a little background check?

I agree with "miss my son". Let this week be all about being with kids and celebrating, honor your family traditions like you ordinarily would if this were not happening. I had mentioned in an earlier post that I have had some very good results with using legal shield for my son. They are online, very affordable, and it is not just one lawyer, it is a team of lawyers. Look them up and give them a call.....It cant hurt anything to talk to them to see if it would be in his best interest to use them or someone else. I particularly like the fact that you can call them and they always call back within about 4 hours to answer any questions that we have. Our prev lawyer would not ever call back. They even contacted the jail about not providing a bed for son to sleep on and so they finally got him off of the floor. I am so sorry to hear that you are in this situation. No worries about judgment here, I think everyone in here knows that people make mistakes. My son was driving drunk one night and hit a child. He died several days later

Momma,

Is this a federal or a state prosecution?? CP cases can be prosecuted by either the feds or the state. If the DA is prosecuting this case it is a state case; a federal case would be prosecuted by a federal prosecutor.

First off, your husband does not need a trial lawyer, as this case will never go to trial unless his attorney can somehow get the CP evidence thrown out. He needs an attorney who gets along well with the DA and the judge, one that can work well with them. He needs an attorney who can negotiate the best plea bargain possible while working with the DA.

This case will never go to trial, since it is a CP case. It is very unwise to take a CP case to trial. People who take CP cases to trial are found guilty 99.9% of the time and wind up with very long prison sentences.

The state likely has enough evidence to convict him of possession, so he could not win at trial and when found guilty, the jury would likely give him a long sentence, much longer than the length of a plea deal.

He needs an attorney that can get him the best plea deal.

I would not take the recommendation of a bunch of inmates. I was an inmate once, and there are some intelligent guys in jail, but there are a lot more idiots.

If his present attorney seems lost, you need to get rid of her. Find an experienced attorney who knows the ropes in that town and has a good name in town. He does not have to be Matlock or Perry Mason as this case will never go to trial.

You said, " I dont even know what to do. I was pointed this way by a family member. And honestly, I need help and advice. Raising a child, being pregnant, and having someone in jail..Im so lost."

Right now, your biggest concern is to take care of yourself and your child. Learn to take one day at a time and do not put too much on your plate at one time. If you do, you will overtax your mind and this situation will overwhelm you. We don't want that.

Do not start worrying about something than may or may not happen two months from now. Concentrate on one day at a time.

If you have someone you can trust to talk to, by all means do it. You cannot keep all your fears and emotions bottled up. Do not be afraid to reach out for help or support.

You WILL get through this, but it will not be a piece of cake. If you take this slow, keep your mind clear, and keep the faith, you will make it fine. Everyone in the beginning is completely overwhelmed, but the trick is to take steps so that this situation does not start to consume you.

This is a good board for support. Hang around and don't be afraid to ask questions.

rewdiazepam

Listen to our dear friend, Rew. He has helped us all so much. He has a lot of knowledge from being inside, and also his other vast experiences and will not steer you wrong. He is one of the best!

Right now your head is reeling as all of ours have been. You have never been through this before, it is scary. It won 't go away no matter what you do right now, so they are right. This week focus on your kids and family. It's hard to not think of what they are going through, but you have to, for now. Later, you can get more involved. Just give yourself permission to do the things you have to do for your kids. Believe me it will be a good distraction.

In the next few days, you won't get much help from any lawyer. They are all focused on Christmas, and their families. They don't care about the people out there in trouble. They know they can wait.

You are in the beginning phase of this. You need to TRY to calm down, especially since you are pregnant. Then you can also think more clearly. And he has to understand that.

They do get pushy. They are miserable, and scared, and sorry for what happened. They are hating themselves for putting us through this.

There will be plenty of time to figure out about lawyers. These things take forever. And once you actually know what he is up against, it will be some sort of relief. The not knowing period which you are going through is the worst.

I suggest you read every post and journal on here you can. It will help you see how others are getting through this, and you might get some insight, and advice that will help you.

We all will help you through answering questions you may have that we have already dealt with.

My history on here is LONG. I started on DS about 9 or more years ago. At the time, I had a son AND a fiance in prison. They seemed to take turns getting out and going in for many years. Now my son has been out 4 years, and doing great, and fiance has been back in for almost 2 years, AGAIN.

We are winding down to the final seven months. Yes, it seemed like that would never happen. You do learn to cope. You do learn to handle things out here without them. You will miss him, you will get mad at him for being in this position and leaving you with everything. You will feel sorry for him, and sometimes hate him. But you will stand by him.

It is not a fun thing to go through, and most of our friends and family don't understand what they did, or why they are in there, and why we stick with them. Because it hasn't hit them personally. So they judge with no real knowledge of anything, including how we feel, and that they are cruel being judgmental.

I got rid of people in my life that were cruel and awful to me and about him. We don't need that.

There are many things we can share with you that may help. There are ideas we have done how to help them live through this. Just stick with us. We even have some fun sometimes together. Some of us have talked for YEARS on here to each other.

It is a wonderful and odd bond we have with others on here. We may never meet. We may live across a whole ocean from each other, but we are life long friends. We have all went through many things together, and we never condemn or criticize anyone for how they are feeling, because we have felt those feelings too.

Try to stay strong. Don't give up on life. Don 't let depression take over your life. Keep busy.. which with kids, that won't be hard.

I found that spending time with my grandkids helped so much. Who can cry when you look at those little smiling faces? Use that to help you. And you do have a part of him with you, because of your kids.

Thank you all so much.
He didnt talk about lawyers today when we talked.
I think he is starting to get that it is stressing me out a lot and that it is not good for me.

This is a state thing, not federal. Well, as far as I know anyways.

He mentioned he didnt start this out of a whim. That something happened in his childhood that started this. But he wont tell me over the phone. Only when we see each other again. So my curiousity is getting the best of me.

He has already been told multiple times by me that I will not be hiring that lawyer since I do not feel comfortable with her at all. I have one that has been working with us both trying to find everything out that he can.

And you all are right, i need to focus on myself and my child this week. Especially since it is her first christmas. He needs to realize that no one will be helping this week.