I am a guy and a former inmate, so this advice is just from my standpoint.

But I have helped other family members in your situation for several years now------------------

Allow yourself to grieve. Cry if you feel like it. Scream at the TV. Stomp your feet, but allow yourself to process all these unpleasant emotions.

Validate your feelings. Whatever feelings you have are YOUR feelings and they are important to YOU. Do NOT let anyone else tell you how you should feel.

Keep busy. Find something that interests you and keep your mind occupied. Do not just isolated yourself by staying in the house all the time.

Talk about your situation, if possible, with someone who has a sympathetic ear. Get things off your chest. If you keep all this inside, this will start to CONSUME you.

Take "one day at a time" and ONLY one day at a time. You can only live for the present. Do not stew on things that may or may not happen three months from now; that is just borrowing trouble.

Remember this situation is DOABLE. I did not say fun, as in a picnic, but doable.

Try to exercise or walk at least 30 minutes every day.

Keep a journal or a diary. There is a page for each member here to write his or her own thoughts down OR write your feelings down in a diary. Writing your thoughts out is therapeutic.

Don't listen to others who say you have been "played" or deceived. You may or may not be getting played, but it is your decision. If you are getting fooled, you and only you, will pay the consequences. Only you know how you feel and you probably know him better than most people.

Stay true to yourself.

Don't be afraid to reach out to health professionals if you cannot stop crying or find yourself wanting to stay in bed all day and not face the world. There are several antidepressants out there that are effective with very few side effects. Seek help if you cannot seem to get over this.

And lastly, come to this board often. The ladies here are intelligent and compassionate. They either have or are going through the very thing you are right now. They are probably the only ones in this world that can truly understand how you feel.

And finally, God Bless you.

rewdiazepam

What a great response REW. You are such an asset to this board. Thank you. And God Bless YOU!!

Don't know if your loved one is your significant other or child, recent occurrence or not, but either way, the feelings are the same. We on this board have gone, or are going through the same thing. It is very tough. Take Rew's advice, its the best I can think to tell you at this point in your ordeal. Does it get better? Frankly I don't know cause I'm not there yet, but am inching my way there, I think. Write down what Rew has said and follow it as best you can. It does help. Sending you love, hugs, and best wishes. We are all in this together.
Misty

I get so mad when people day he was playing me, using me, lyhing to me. Were they here in our home, in our life? Did they take the time to get to know him? NO... so they don't know him, or what we have or had.

Don't listen to them. No matter who is is. Listen to your heart.

As for the rest, listen to Rew.. he said it all.

This is hard, but we do get through it. It's hard at first, gets a bit easier, then somewhat more easier, but it is always there until they come home.