Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Back to Thursday.
My older sister told my Mum she was leaving town to go help a friend. She was going to a city 2.5 hours away....a BIG city.
Friday my brother, his two kids, my mother and I all decided to go to Swift to visit family. My sister, who is 2.5 hours in the OTHER direction of where we have to go gets furious we didn't invite her. We knew she was out of town so no one thought it was a big deal. PLUS she couldn't afford to pay for any food, any of the hotel, any of the activities and my brother and I (we were treating our mum) won't foot her bill.
Saturday my mum gets some nasty texts and then its quiet on the drama front. We enjoy our visit.
Sunday she hears absolutely nothing again. We stayed til late that night then headed home.
Monday my sisters friend calls my mum and claims my sister is out of minutes (Because, you know, land lines don't work) and that he can't get her any more. My mother who is short on all her bills this month can't afford to do so either. So she tells him my sister will just have to figure shit out. But she does not hear from my sister.
Today. She still is not home, no one has heard from her and she had a court date for all her theft charges. She didn't call her lawyer, he called my mother looking for her.
I don't want to believe that she is relapsing. But I can't not believe it. My heart tells me she is somewhere, in the big city, higher then a kite. And my heart hurts.
She is so fucked up (pardon my French) and she claims she is trying to fix it. She is on all sorts of meds as she was diagnosed with a thyroid issue, she is border line diabetic, she may have cancer! She randomly goes to NA and meetings with proffesionals.
What really hurt is my mum and I went for a walk today and my mum told me that my sister was still gone. Most likely on a run away. And so casually....so freaking casually....she says 'or she may be dead somewhere'. Not even an ounce of remorse in her voice. My mum has always been my sisters BIGGEST enabler.
If she is completely done with my sister how bad can it be? What am I not being told? I hate my sister and what she is some days....but I don't want her dead. Now I can't get the image of her dead in a ditch or filthy basement out of my head.
My older sister told my Mum she was leaving town to go help a friend. She was going to a city 2.5 hours away....a BIG city.
Friday my brother, his two kids, my mother and I all decided to go to Swift to visit family. My sister, who is 2.5 hours in the OTHER direction of where we have to go gets furious we didn't invite her. We knew she was out of town so no one thought it was a big deal. PLUS she couldn't afford to pay for any food, any of the hotel, any of the activities and my brother and I (we were treating our mum) won't foot her bill.
Saturday my mum gets some nasty texts and then its quiet on the drama front. We enjoy our visit.
Sunday she hears absolutely nothing again. We stayed til late that night then headed home.
Monday my sisters friend calls my mum and claims my sister is out of minutes (Because, you know, land lines don't work) and that he can't get her any more. My mother who is short on all her bills this month can't afford to do so either. So she tells him my sister will just have to figure shit out. But she does not hear from my sister.
Today. She still is not home, no one has heard from her and she had a court date for all her theft charges. She didn't call her lawyer, he called my mother looking for her.
I don't want to believe that she is relapsing. But I can't not believe it. My heart tells me she is somewhere, in the big city, higher then a kite. And my heart hurts.
She is so fucked up (pardon my French) and she claims she is trying to fix it. She is on all sorts of meds as she was diagnosed with a thyroid issue, she is border line diabetic, she may have cancer! She randomly goes to NA and meetings with proffesionals.
What really hurt is my mum and I went for a walk today and my mum told me that my sister was still gone. Most likely on a run away. And so casually....so freaking casually....she says 'or she may be dead somewhere'. Not even an ounce of remorse in her voice. My mum has always been my sisters BIGGEST enabler.
If she is completely done with my sister how bad can it be? What am I not being told? I hate my sister and what she is some days....but I don't want her dead. Now I can't get the image of her dead in a ditch or filthy basement out of my head.
Sorry you are so upset.
She screwed up, she will pay the price. I, for one am glad your mom is calm. Maybe she had an awaking...
we can't control what happens to anyone but ourselves.
I hope YOU find peace in this situation. Wonderful that you all had a nice trip together. Think on those good times instead.
It hurt like hell. It doesn't mean though that he has given up. I don't know what giving up means. Your mother is probably in deep pain and realises there's nothing much she can do.
I'm sorry Jolene for what you've been going through. I'll tell you what I tell myself, even though I am a very bad listener most of the times: move on with your day, you don't know what the future holds, we only have now.
I spend a lot of energy ignoring the nasty texts and emails she sends me about how I don't understand her and I don't love her. About how keeping her from my daughter is doing more damage then good. Easily twice or more a day I need to listen to someone in my family vent about how my sister is taking her anger at me out on them. Usually my mum.
I'm not going to stop living. And some angry part of me is glad she's missing because it means that all her bullshit is missing with her. Then the compassionate part kicks in and I feel a moment of panic at what she is doing with her life at this moment. But none of it makes me stop what I am doing. None of it brings me to my knees or causes lack of sleep. It's just images that flash through my head while I'm cooking supper, or making a bed, or laying down to sleep at night.
Sometimes I wish she was never born, then none of this would of happened. The hardest part is seeing what it does to my mum. Then I feel bad that I felt like that.
This stupid vanishing act is just bringing up a lot of feelings I thought I was done with already.