Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
When I started on the journey of addiction with my sons there were things I wish I had known.
Here are a few of mine for those just beginning. Please add more of your own.
I wish I...
Hid my money and valuables outside my home
Never left any prescription drugs in the house
Slept with my car keys under my pillow
Never bailed them out
Never paid an attorney for them
Never made excuses to others for their bad behavior
Reached out sooner to those standing in the same shoes
Admit I was addicted to their addiction
Take care of myself more
Made them leave my home sooner and not worry about upsetting them
Not believe their lies because it was easier to turn the other way
Go to counseling, coda, alanon, etc. more often
Stop trying to fix them.
Not pay for suboxone (their recovery...their expense)
Not pay their tickets
Not give them money
Educate myself more
I know I could list a bunch more...because I commited every enabling act known to man. I know we all struggle on what is right and what is wrong. It's a brutal disease. just being here shows we all look for answers. I've been dealing with this for 21 years. It never gets easier. I remember the first time I was faced with any of this. I sat next to my car after dropping my older son off at a hospital and sobbed. I didn't know who to talk to.
Let's get a list going for what you wish you knew for all those new to this epidemic. Perhaps we can make them all feel like they have some idea where to begin.
One more thing...
I wish I knew sooner to pray (I kind of lost my way with God for a long time). This brought me back.
Here are a few of mine for those just beginning. Please add more of your own.
I wish I...
Hid my money and valuables outside my home
Never left any prescription drugs in the house
Slept with my car keys under my pillow
Never bailed them out
Never paid an attorney for them
Never made excuses to others for their bad behavior
Reached out sooner to those standing in the same shoes
Admit I was addicted to their addiction
Take care of myself more
Made them leave my home sooner and not worry about upsetting them
Not believe their lies because it was easier to turn the other way
Go to counseling, coda, alanon, etc. more often
Stop trying to fix them.
Not pay for suboxone (their recovery...their expense)
Not pay their tickets
Not give them money
Educate myself more
I know I could list a bunch more...because I commited every enabling act known to man. I know we all struggle on what is right and what is wrong. It's a brutal disease. just being here shows we all look for answers. I've been dealing with this for 21 years. It never gets easier. I remember the first time I was faced with any of this. I sat next to my car after dropping my older son off at a hospital and sobbed. I didn't know who to talk to.
Let's get a list going for what you wish you knew for all those new to this epidemic. Perhaps we can make them all feel like they have some idea where to begin.
One more thing...
I wish I knew sooner to pray (I kind of lost my way with God for a long time). This brought me back.
I wish I knew after they completed their rehabs that relapses happen. I remember a few month back taking a deep breath and thinking well glad that's past us! It felt good to let my guard down. But when he relapsed I felt sucker punched.
I think for those who have just begun this horrific journey...realize this is a life long disease. They don't get "cured" they recovery by working it.
Wish I knew this. Because part of me felt after rehab..."not my kid".
Keep this going. There's not enough out there for support for loved ones. This doesn't just apply to our kids...those affected by spouses and SO's need it too!
I wish to. That sounds sad. Had similar happen to me when I was young. Never knew it wasn't ok.
I always will wish I knew.
The one that hits home the most is that I wish my son would have worked as hard as I did for his sobriety. In time he did.....he is coming up on three years of being clean!