Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My sister is a constant relaspser. Is that a thing? It should be if it isn't. She will use for 3 months and then be clean for 4. Then relapse for 2 weeks then be clean for 2 months and then relapse again for 6 months and then be clean for 1 month and so on and so forth. Generally her relapses happen as soon as everyone stops paying attention to her.
But clean or using the suicide threats NEVER STOP. It is to the point, where as awful as this sounds, our whole family ignores them. But I still get frantic messages from her friends stating that she sent them a good bye message and someone needs to check on her and yada yada yada. She has been involuntarily committed three times to the psych ward in the last year. But she is so good at manipulating and they are so over crowded that they release her within a couple weeks.
If she ever actually commits suicide I will be upset. I'll cry, play the blame game and miss her. But right now I get so irritated about it all. She posted another suicide post and I actually posted that if she did it it would be 100% her choice and 100% her fault and that all she is doing is spreading her pain around and that's just plain selfish. I haven't gotten a response, though I doubt it will be pretty. And I'm aware I was out of line, but when is enough enough?
Does anyone else have an addict who threatens suicide ample times? By ample I mean easily 30 times a year, usually more.
But clean or using the suicide threats NEVER STOP. It is to the point, where as awful as this sounds, our whole family ignores them. But I still get frantic messages from her friends stating that she sent them a good bye message and someone needs to check on her and yada yada yada. She has been involuntarily committed three times to the psych ward in the last year. But she is so good at manipulating and they are so over crowded that they release her within a couple weeks.
If she ever actually commits suicide I will be upset. I'll cry, play the blame game and miss her. But right now I get so irritated about it all. She posted another suicide post and I actually posted that if she did it it would be 100% her choice and 100% her fault and that all she is doing is spreading her pain around and that's just plain selfish. I haven't gotten a response, though I doubt it will be pretty. And I'm aware I was out of line, but when is enough enough?
Does anyone else have an addict who threatens suicide ample times? By ample I mean easily 30 times a year, usually more.
Don't forget addicts manipulate to get attention and what they want. I can understand your concern. My mother always did that to us. One day on the phone she told my sister she was going to kill herself. My sister was hysterical. She was going to run back and live with her to help the poor (addict) mom. No way. I called an ambulance and told them her threat. They went and she was sitting outside with neighbors laughing. Meanwhile my sister was eating her guts up.
She is incredibly manipulating. She will lock herself in a washroom at a family function screaming about killing herself, than an hour later burst out of the washroom laughing and calling us all idiots because when the police show up they will see she wasn't going to do it anyways! At this point the jokes on her since we all stopped calling years ago. But she can still con the odd boyfriend or new friend in to doing it.
I think my biggest worry is that no one in the family even get's concerned about the threats anymore. It's like the boy who cried wolf all over again. I usually feel worse over my lack of concern than I do over her constantly threatening
You have a life to live. Live it the best you can. What you describe doesn't seem fixable. Can't fix sociopath. No psychiatric care can. Why would you think you can?
((((((Hugs))))))
But I do get to see the damage she does to the rest of the family. And her constant threats are exhausting. The messages from people who expect me to run to her side and then call me a cold heartless bitch when I tell them not to worry about it get's to me too.
I will say you are a terrifically well adjusted individual...a survivor.
I have to say that I think you are filled with GRACE that you are so able to still even care about her.
Difference is I never make him feel bad for them having no relationship.
If I were you and I'm not. I'd have to walk away from it all. I did with my
Mom and took a break from drama and chaos
You are absolutely not alone. It's a frustrating thing when, like me, you are the one who takes each attempt very seriously as a matter of life and death...and then psychologically 'shuts down' after one too many attempts.
Hang in there. You have so much compassion and empathy. Don't worry, those wonderful traits are not going to disappear. In my experience, they might just need to rest up before coming back at full strength. You are not losing yourself. You're just using a lot of energy.
It helped me when a close friend told me, "Anger doesn't make you work harder. Anger makes you burn so much energy that you feel like you're working harder."