Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My sister is in jail (as mentioned in a previous thread). My mum called me a couple days ago and asked if Marlow and I were up for a jail visit. Marlow is my 5 year old daughter.
I told her I would go, but Marlow was not going. She wasn't going to sit in a jail visiting room and hang out with her aunt. Hell, she doesn't even know where her aunt is! I figured it wasn't pertinent to bring it up unless she asked and so far she hasn't even mentioned her aunt. Plus, if my sister ever does smarten up, my daughter is at the age where memories stick around. Does my sister seriously want one of my daughters first memories of her to be her locked up?
My mum got all quiet then informed me that I could tell my sister that. No, no I can't. I don't have a land line, just a cell, and I'm not accepting any collect calls from jail. Besides, my sister didn't call to ask me, she sent our mom to do the dirty work. And I felt bad because I know my sister went ballistic on my mum when she told her I would not allow Marlow to go see her.
I'm not even sure if she want's me to see her this weekend, but really if she doesn't it's not the worst thing to ever happen to me.
I just don't understand how I'm the only one in my family that sees anything wrong with taking a 5 year old to visit my sister in jail. No one else sees an issue with it. If she was locked up for a looooong time I would revisit the idea, but it will be 3 months max! She has gone that long without seeing her when she wasn't in jail because she always has something more important to do. So why exactly should I cater to her wants now that she is paying for one of her many many many mistakes?
I'm just mad at this all. My mum is barely talking to me. My other sister thinks I'm being unreasonable. My sister in jail is undoubtedly hopping mad. Ugh.
I told her I would go, but Marlow was not going. She wasn't going to sit in a jail visiting room and hang out with her aunt. Hell, she doesn't even know where her aunt is! I figured it wasn't pertinent to bring it up unless she asked and so far she hasn't even mentioned her aunt. Plus, if my sister ever does smarten up, my daughter is at the age where memories stick around. Does my sister seriously want one of my daughters first memories of her to be her locked up?
My mum got all quiet then informed me that I could tell my sister that. No, no I can't. I don't have a land line, just a cell, and I'm not accepting any collect calls from jail. Besides, my sister didn't call to ask me, she sent our mom to do the dirty work. And I felt bad because I know my sister went ballistic on my mum when she told her I would not allow Marlow to go see her.
I'm not even sure if she want's me to see her this weekend, but really if she doesn't it's not the worst thing to ever happen to me.
I just don't understand how I'm the only one in my family that sees anything wrong with taking a 5 year old to visit my sister in jail. No one else sees an issue with it. If she was locked up for a looooong time I would revisit the idea, but it will be 3 months max! She has gone that long without seeing her when she wasn't in jail because she always has something more important to do. So why exactly should I cater to her wants now that she is paying for one of her many many many mistakes?
I'm just mad at this all. My mum is barely talking to me. My other sister thinks I'm being unreasonable. My sister in jail is undoubtedly hopping mad. Ugh.
It's your job to protect your daughter, plain and simple. If they don't like it, tell them to go pound sand.
Catering to their many many mistakes is so familiar to me also.
Stay strong my friend!
really? I wanted to say something much more unkind.
Why program her to go in that direction? beyond bad.
good for you for not being sucked into that insanity.
My daughter is impressionable. But I also think she would not make a good visitor lol she is ADDICTED to Beyond Scared Straight. We go to our city's National Guard Day celebration and she has cards with all the local prison cards stats and signatures on them haha. My daughter would be more likely to tell my sister to smarten up then to feel any sympathy towards her. She would want to shake all the guards hands :S. It's one of her quirks. At the last National Guard Day celebration they practiced a smoke bomb and we were unfortunately down wind. After we were done coughing and gagging my then 4 year old stands up straight and yells 'THAT WAS AWESOME! I want one for Christmas okay Daddo?'
Thanks Gordos 4 :) We heard it on a cartoon actually at the time and it just sort of stuck. We didn't know what we were having at the time but the second we heard the name she became Marlow.