Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My sister has always been a handful. Always been cruel. She is bipolar and has been self medicating for years. She lies, she steals, she back stabs. When I was a child she locked me in a closet for three days (our dad died very young, our mom worked three jobs to keep a roof over our head meaning we barely saw her) and made me pee in a corner, gave me nothing to eat, and terrified me in to silence. She knocked out my front teeth on the side of our oven when I was seven. At one point she tied me to a chair and broke the few toys I had in front of me. I have burn scars from her cigarettes. There has been very few, if any really, bright points in our relationship.
Yet when I think about how I feel about her I feel like a horrible person. Like whatever disease is eating her away is affecting me too. I feel like it makes me no better then her. I hate it. I hate how I feel more than I hate her. I don't cry over my sister much anymore. But I do cry over how sick I feel about how I feel.
Yet when I think about how I feel about her I feel like a horrible person. Like whatever disease is eating her away is affecting me too. I feel like it makes me no better then her. I hate it. I hate how I feel more than I hate her. I don't cry over my sister much anymore. But I do cry over how sick I feel about how I feel.
My only suggestion is to try and see her, not as your sister, but as a sick and suffering human being. That part of her, you can feel sorry for. As for the part of her that is a sadistic bit#ch, I think you have every right to feel anger, violated, hurt and betrayed.
I just read that someone wrote that when their very horrible mom passed away, they felt mourning for the loss of what they wanted in a mom...but not for the woman herself. I understand that.
You have to decide what is going to make you feel better. YOU are the victim.And still suffering. Yes, it is sad to see another human suffer....but you did nothing to cause her problems, you only suffered from them
. I don't know if you can forgive her, they say (who the heck are "they"?) that it can be good for you....who knows. You just need to nurture yourself, and that small helpless child that was put thru so much.
How you feel is how you feel. Have you gotten any help on processing all of this? you really need to have a wonderful future...proving that you can overcome this obstacle and that you are strong just for surviving. And the continual dealing with her doesn't seem to be healthy for you.
I wish you peace. I wish you well.
I thought I had forgiven her...she was getting better....we were forging the beginning stages of a relationship, something we have never had. Then I found out that it was all a charade and that she was the same horrific person she had always been. And all the forgiveness I thought I had given went sour.
My life is actually very good. I am 29 and I own my own home, I have a newer vehicle, I run my own business, I have a man who loves me and a wonderful daughter. I have good friends and great support in whatever I do.
I do, however, have her ex boyfriends son in my care. He is my foster son. CPS placed him with me when they apprehended him because he knew me and he has suffered a ridiculous amount in his short life and they wanted to try to ease his transition in to the foster system. That being said, he is my sister's ex boyfriend but they are still together all the time. She has hand in "raising" the boy for just over a year and he views her as mom. So I do have some dealings with her over this all but they are minimal. I can go weeks without ever seeing or talking to her. Then there are also family functions and holidays where I just can't 100% avoid her sadly.
I saw a counseller when I was a child. For many years and so on and so forth. My childhood wasn't a cake walk but a lot of kids have it worse. My father died when I was 7, my sister abused me, we were homeless for a while.... But not since I became an adult. My life is very busy and there is no way I could fit one in. Though, to be honest, I don't want too. At this point in my life I think I have done all that I can in regards to her.
I just can't seem to stop the odd wash of anger and hate that pop up....they are not always there. I can go a long time without even thinking about her, as sad as that is, but some insignificant thing can cause her face to pop up in my mind and then the feelings come and I feel horrible.