Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I am so down, things were hard but okay, I feel likeI have been to hell and back and here I am again. This is so hard to watch. I am so confused. The months he was in treatment, seemed to be okay but all fell on me, and did ... well still does, he no longer works, is doing the same thing and I feel so damn stupid because it probably has been at least a month in retrospect. what do you do next, i know the rational answer but i have been advised that I would lose everything in court to him, because of his problems. its like living with a chldl that won't or can't grow up. Someone please help me find my way out of this dark hole I am in with what has worked for you. I put all my confidence in something I believed in and now it's gone.
by everything do you mean money and the house and all your belongings and such?
If I were you, I would get in touch with a service that helps immediate placements. there are programs out there that will help you. they will aide you in getting a job if you don't have one, and they will help you in getting a house, and they will help you with groceries and such.
if you have a good friend or family see if you can stay there until you are all sorted out and on your own.
if you feel like you need to get out, you probably do...and the longer you wait the harder it will be to leave.
good luck
You can set some boundaries decide is this how you want to live your life if not start making plans and changes in your life.
Get another opinion as to divorcing him.
I've been in your place before its very disappointing when they relapse.
Love and Hugs...
pjpj
In all liklihood you can take him to the cleaners. Please see another laywer. All you need to do is keep documentation about is addiction, rehab, detox, etc. Track his expenses and where the money is going.
I don't know how long he has been an addict, or how many times he' been to rehab. The AVERAGE is a 3% success rate. And the majority of those are after 7 attempts.
Please go to Alanon, if you can't get to a live meeting, there are meetings on line. You'll get lots of information and support to help you with YOUR journey.
Hugs.
you said it is more sucessful when they are young. like how young? the dd is 22! i pray everyday she stops and comes to her senses! she has stopped before but not from being in rehab. can they ever stop on thier own?
The reason most addicts stop when they are young is because they outgrow it. After age 30 the chances of quitting get less until they are old then they usually stop or die. I know in my family my dad and step mom don't drink near as much as when I was young. My Ah is 42 and his chances of quitting are slim I think he will die from his addiction.
According to Stanton Peale a well know addiction psychologist the majority of people do quit on their own without any help. Here is his site if interested. http://www.peele.net/index.html
I hope your daughter finally wakes up.
Daphneann, I think when they are in rehab we tend to think about sucess and making it. Then when they relapse it hurts so much because even though we are worried about it we don't believe it will be. But were usually wrong about that unfortunately. I would listen to what MSG1 said and get another attorney. Hang in there!!
But understand, milk crates and macaroni and cheese can be real sweet in a place that is safe and peaceful.
Do not base your intelligence or stupidity on this, just move forward. Make a list of what your options are, make a list of what is really important to you, and make a path for yourself to get there. Remember that possesions can be regained. Get some support. Do not feel ashamed and reach out and find what and who is there to help you.
Good Luck and be safe.
Where older people never matured, think its a party going on all the time they basically never grow up. Then its the old people they stop because they get old and start to out grow it kinda like the older you get your taste in food starts to change.