Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My 27 year old son (opiate addict) got out of a 30 day rehab on April 13. He wanted to go spend a week with grandparents and other family for a week, which I agreed to (my husband disagreed) and according to my parents went well. He has been back "home" for a little over a week. He has gone to some AA and NA meetings. He appears connected. He answers his texts and phone calls quickly. He sounds and looks good to me. He saw friends over the weekend, but promised he would be home and address/try to list/organize the financial mess that he has created for himself. His car was repossessed, creditors calling, defaulting on student loans, etc. He came home yesterday and has begun working (opening piles of mail) on unraveling the financial mess. It is slow going, but I feel it's going in the right direction. He needs to deal with his finances, get a job, finish school, etc. All tough without transportation, but he did it to himself and owns that. He has some money from unemployment. He also has a state and federal income tax refund, which he does not know about. (I filed while he was in rehab) He has applied for some jobs. My husband (Mr black and white) is getting impatient with him moving forward and is demanding that I push him harder to get everything done "now". I am torn about whether I should push him or just make sure he is/seems to be moving forward every day. No matter what I think I should do my husband (not his father) disagrees, Thoughts?
My son got out of rehab from opiates in January and still doesn't have a job, although he just recently completed a training program, which will hopefully lead to employment. I am most encouraged because he is attending groups. going to the gym, socializing with non-using friends and working on creative art and writing projects. That shows me that he is filling his life with enriching positive activities so he is less likely to revert to getting high. My son is much more stable now that he has been clean for a few months. I'm not sure he would have been able to handle the pressure of a new job when he was fresh out of rehab.
Keep talking positively with your son about his goals, and encourage the steps he's taking to move forward. It's all in the attitude. Pushing someone aggressively with impatience can backfire. I'm sure stepdaddy means well. Keep pointing out all the positives to him as well. Best of luck to all of you!