Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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susan55 02/27/2015

My son has been in detox 2 days. He called me last night and said that he would probably be ok to come home today. I encouraged him to stay one more day, but I have no idea if leaving today is his idea or if the detox facility also agrees. (I am working on finding out) There will be some "lag" time before he can get into rehab (hopefully he will be able to qualify). I cleaned out everything drug related I could find in his room. I am hesitant to let him come home to that room and the "habitual behavior" reminders. I am wondering if I should take him and go to my parents or my other son's house and stay with him until rehab. He has no "connections" in either or those cities. My husband is being very harsh and demanding that we have him sign papers the minute he gets home, stating that he won't "use" and if he does, everything gets packed up and he and his things leave. I feel he will still be horribly vulnerable and still detoxing and I should do whatever I can to help him keep clean until rehab. This is his chance to get it right. I also realize he is 27 and can do whatever he wants. I just want to help him get through this window of time before rehab.

hopingforsunnydays 02/27/2015

Hi susan55, good to hear he is in detox. Sadly, beds are so hard to get now, BUT did he sign a paper for them to release info to you? If so, call his counselor and talk with them. Let them know your fears. It isn't easy,, been here a half dozen times with our son. Worst case scenario is to look into 'sectioning' him through the courts? Not sure how that is done, but think the counselor will have all the answers you will need. If he didn't sign the papers to release info, they can talk in 'broad terms' to you and your fears. I hear what you mean about 'no connections' that was our son's downfall, cell phone, in walking distance even near trains/busses....that sucked! And we finally got to the point your hubby is talking about, tossing him out on his behind. We had to do that, it was sad, it was painful, I went into depression, it was awful.

I suggest a call to the detox center and talking to someone who can guide you.

Prayers to you and hugs. Stay strong and be GOOD TO YOU. This was not YOUR choice, but your sons', remember that (not easy to do, but keep pounding it into your brain.)

Misssy2 03/05/2015

Susan?
What happened?
Is he in rehab yet?

jainlor 03/06/2015

how is he doing?

susan55 03/06/2015

Thanks everyone for your concern. We went to an evaluation for rehab and he qualifies for in-patient rehab (35-42 days). If they determine while he is in there he needs long term rehab they will recommend that. They will call "hopefully next week" with a rehab bed. We came home and he was great for a few days. Now he has days he just wants to sleep all day and all night, and days that he is very productive. I am glad he is able to sleep. He has gone out with "friends" for a few hours here and there, which I am not happy about. I am hanging on by my toenails! My gut feeling is that he has no vested interest in rehab, that he likes what he does and the feeling he gets. Before all the evals happened I walked into his room one night to see him on the bed, sleeve pushed up, blood droplets and an insulin syringe hanging in the other hand. One of a mother's worst nightmares and I keep seeing it over and over. When I said something to him after detox he replied, "But Mom, you just didn't know what a great feeling that gave me". I am hopeful, but have a bad feeling that he is either not going to rehab or he will not stay. Prayers please?

plantlover 03/08/2015

Lots of prayers for you and your son!

deleted_user 03/09/2015

That's a tough one all right, 2 or 3 days is really not enough for detox. It ought to be timed so they can go straight to rehab afterwards. I hope your son is able to hang in there until he can get a rehab bed.

My son was in detox for 10 days this past December. Previously, he had left early after a couple of days, as soon as he felt good. This time the social worker made a special case to keep him in so they could get him on social assistance to pay for the rehab, and so he was able to go directly to rehab from detox. My son didn't like rehab and all the rules at first, but he stuck it out, and afterwards told me the experience was "awesome". One thing that really impressed him was they had a chef who came in and cooked amazing healthy meals, and that was part of their healing. You never know how it will turn out! Nearly 3 months on and my son is still clean and sober!

I pray your son gets a rehab bed soon and finds healing there. All the best to you too!

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