Being with an addict certainly takes a toll on you emotionally! Is there someone you can visit for a day or a place you can crash for the night? Just to get some peace of mind for at least a few minutes.

Still about 2 weeks until his spot opens up right? Lets hope it happens sooner than this.

I can sooooooo relate!

I'm having off days too. It happens. I try to do away with the negative feelings but sometimes I just end up feeling like a wreck having achieved nothing. I think I just have to suck it up [pardon my language] and say to myself, this too shall pass. And it does. Until the feelings appear again. Then it's a new fight all over again.

I had that day yesterday! today I am better. I hate this roller coaster ride with my emotions, but I just keep telling myself that I deserve better and he has the addiction, not me. I did all I can do to try and help him.

Unfortunately this roller coaster Hell is a long-term way of life and the only way around it is to put a plan in place on how best to deal with it when it comes. Learn to recognize the signs then figure out what you can do that will totally distract or hijack your mind away from all the crappy things consuming your thoughts. As an example my husband, who works like a dog and was on the front lines of our son's addiction issues, started playing the guitar again. He'll sit for hours in the evening playing stuff you hear on the radio (although at first I had to put on earplugs-lol). My point is he says it totally takes his mind off of our dumb-ass addict son. To be honest I am still trying to figure out what will help me? Although I did go an entire day several weeks ago when I hit one of the local Casinos - tough on the wallet to do that all the time - maybe needlework?

I hope you can find an outlet that will bring you some peace from all the chaos in your life.

Unfortunately loving an addict , you can not live in the what ifs, nor can you change the past,, what is done is done,,it's only your choice if you want to live tomorrow with the addict,,, that's why you take one day at a time,,, your eyes are in front, and that is to look forward,, if your constantly looking at the past,,, you will always be held in bondage ,,, you will never be free,,,, it's entirely up to your addict if he choices to be clean or not ,,, it's your choice if you can stand by,,,

Patience leads to hope , and where there is life there us always hope

I agree with cyndee...throw YOURSELF into something you love... for me it's studying and motorcycles...BUT be careful that yo's don't throw yourself into more and more stuff to avoid the pain of life with an addict...unfortunately that's what I did and I ended up right back in the place I am now...NOWHERE.

But you do have to balance YOUR life with your life with the addict...and focus on YOU because you can't control anyone but yourself.

Good Luck

DR

P.S. I need to start taking my own advice soon!

well said Cardinal!