SO, quick recap, son is a heroin addict, in and out of rehab. We moved out of state, new home, jobs, great new locale....celebrated Christmas via phone with our son yet again in rehab....in Jan, before his birthday, he relapsed yet again, for a whole month he has not communicated with me even on his birthday...no messages back on FB, even though I could see him on there, no return calls....so I just threw in the towel, and was fine with it.

Today? I get a FB message as I'm on stating he fell off the wagon (like I didn't figure it out? really?) and he is back in detox and this time will not fail even he wrote 'yeah, I've heard this before'...he knows what I'm thinking.

I didn't respond with anything but 5 words each time, short and sweet. happy to hear from you....glad you're okay....love you......good luck....get better....all that stuff I truly wish for. But wouldn't get into anything more. (Thank you Cardinal, your words always are in my head!)....his writing was more literate than I've seen in a while...and yet, as he logged off with a 'I'll call you guys shortly' I thought, I'm living my life, finally, OUT of what I call the 'dark place'....I've been happy...I will NOT go there again....I may not take his calls for a bit. He needs to figure out his life and I need to continue getting myself better and away from his madness. I have WAY too much going on that is good than to trip back down his rabbit hole with him. Sound selfish? Maybe. But after 5 years, I'm all set.

But the other side of me is hopeful, grateful he reached out and explained.

So goes the merry go round, but minus one rider, ME!

Prayers for him and all our other folks who battle this hideous addiction....may they find peace.