Hi Marg, oh, my heart feels for you. Does he have a sponsor Marg? I found when Sean was starting to feel again, his sponsor really helped him, he would do daily step work with him. I think what you are doing as well, is so important, letting him know that you and the rest of your family are there for him. I don't know if he does this, but I really believe all of these things have helped sean, he reads daily affirmations, also he works out 6 days a week, the adrenaline that is secreted from working out can help. I will keep him and your family in my prayers.

the books are called Daily reflections, some are from Hazelton Center, you can get them at any bookstore.

I am so sorry. you all must be worried sick.
Is there anything you can use to distract him? like music, or a friend, or does he paint?
When I lost my dad suddenly, a boyfriend had me dig potatoes...I know, not very loving, but I was doing something.
A project?

I know, probably not the answers...I always feel like I have to try to have some...but keeping busy helps the time pass....My son loved to grocery shop after being so broke...so off we went.

I will light a candle for you today.

oh marg I am so sorry. please never ever leave him on his own and if he is a danger of hurting himself or has suicidal thoughts please bring him to a hospital. When they have those thoughts...first priority is to keep them safe...my thoughts...don't leave him on his own at night please!

I am so sorry your son is going through such emotional pain. I wish I could give you some magic words you could say to him to make it all go away, but I can't. Besides being addicts, our recovering children are so emotionally fragile. Most of them have such a hard road to go through: after they break free of the addiction, they still have to deal with the emotional issues that never got resolved during the drug years; they just got covered up. And... they also have to deal with the casualties of their addiction: damaged relationships, criminal records, wasted opportunities, abandoned educational plans. It's a lot to deal with. Do you think he would be amenable to being treated for depression? A depressed person sees no solution to the way they feel because they don't realize that it's all a function of a chemical unbalance. If you can convince him that medical science has ways to restore that balance, maybe he won't despair as much. I can imagine the hell you and your family are going through. I'll keep him in my prayers tonight. God bless. I'll be thinking of you.

( I can also tell you what my son's been doing to keep his sanity: we got him a gym membership for Christmas and he has been going daily to work out. He's kind of obsessive about exercising right now [yes, he's replacing one addiction with another, but at least he's doing something that isn't likely to kill him]. I don't know if your son likes that type of activity but maybe he can find some emotional relief through exercise)

Marge,,, love ya,,, just stay focus,,could be a relaspse,, they have those moments before they actually use,,, you see the signs ,,, just be aware,,,,,, thinking of you,,, we are here for you

I spoke to my son about it. he agrees with beantown, and dmatt. He started exercising while he was in the halfway house and then the sober living. I bought him a gym membership too.
Funny that now he works for a gym he hadn't exercised in a few months, and he missed it awfully.
Can't stop thinking of you.

thanks for all the suggestions he is already on an antidepressant and he just this week went off one of his meds because he and I both agreed he was too sluggish on them. So I think its probably the med withdrawal. I do leave him during the day to work but his siblings are home with him so this helps. We atayed up late last night talking and watching celebrity rehab and we discussed how all of the people had had serious trauma in their life. Now Justin has always claimed he did not have a trauma of any sorts growing up but last night he admitted that whatever did happen to him he was not ready to talk about it to me which is huge progress! He actually admitted that there might be something he has been numbing himself from.Don't know what it is but I will continue to talk with him and hopefully get to the root of his pain. The gym idea is good but at the moment hes so depressed I don't think I could get him to go outside let alone to a gym. And he has no friends or hobbies. Right now the whole family has taken to looking for thigs to do with him to try and get him through this very rough patch. We are back to taking it one minute at a time.

Oohh Marg none of this is easy is it ? But i can tell you and the whole family are pulling yogether on behalf of Justin. I think you are all handling it perfectly im just sorry he is going through this. I will keep uou all in my prayers hugs Dee

Marg ~ I am praying for Justin. for strength to endure the anguish he is feeling..

To Justin:
The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Stay strong!!

I'm sorry Marg. I can't imagine the worry! I'd be a mess myself thinking of the what if's.

Does your son attend NA meetings? Or does he have a sponsor? My AH would go through moments of rough times and it was KEY to get him to meetings during those times. To surround himself with positive people. My AH works out a lot because it keeps him busy. It was overkill at first but if that's what he needed to keep his mind occupied, so be it.

You're in my thought and prayers tonight!

Hi marg. If he doesent have a sponcer please see that he gets one.As much as we love and want to help our kids it takes someone who has been through the process to help them through the tough times. A sponcer may also get him out to meet good healthy people so he may start to feel good about himself. See if you can get him to watch the episodes of theemptychairshow on sponcers and relapse it might give him a boost. If I can be of help let me know. PRAYERS

Your son is lucky to have such a loving and supportive family. Healing is cyclical. Keep reminding him (and yourself) that this despair will pass. It could very well be the medication change. I hope that gets sorted out and things improve for him. 6 months clean is a major achievement; you have a lot of insight into the source of his pain. May he feel strong again soon. Hugs!

Hi Marg, I hear it clearly, still think we have the same kid.

He made a comment to me that he is 'feeling things like I did when I was 13', which is when he started drinking.

He also said 'I have to keep my mind busy with other things' so he plays his guitar and now wants to take up painting. He takes that guitar everywhere. He likes to sit at the pond and play, our neighbor sees him out there and he just sits and plays and sings for an hour or so, they love to hear him lol.

He has very little friends left, so he gets 'bored' quite easily. He doesn't watch tv, he doesn't play video games, he reads alot though, mainly self help books.

Does he have an interest in music or a hobby that he loves? That would be something that would help him get his mind on something besides 'the fight'.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.