Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My sister is addicted to hydrocodine.She has 2 wonderful daughters ages 6 & 7.She is in the middle of a divorce and may loose her children to her husband,if he finds out whats going on with her,I know she will.I know she loves her girls and would go crazy without them.She lost her first daughter to a car accident in 2000 along with her mother-in-law whom she adored.The baby was only 13 months old.She has never been able to move on after loosing them and I think she tries to dull the pain of loosing them with the pills.I'm not trying to make excuses for her but I know she wasn't doing any drugs untill the accident.
Now things have gotten to the point that my mother,my other siblings and I can no longer ignore what she is doing to herself and her daughters.She has moved back into my mothers home and has no bills to pay.She works 5-6 and sometimes 7 days a week and gets almost a thousand dollars a month child support but never has any money.The girls used to go dressed in the best of clothes,never wore anything but designers.Now they go dressed like rag dolls.She works as a waitress in the next county[a tourist town] over from us and hardly ever makes it home at night after work.She sometimes goes 3 to 4 days without going home to the girls,my mother keeps them while she works.2 of my other sisters live in the town where she works and it's nothing strange for them to wake up in the morning to find her passed out in her car in their driveway.We all feel that this is very dangerous and ahve to wonder where she ends up the other nights that she doesn't make it home.She has even been in my yard,not my drive, when I GOT UP ONE MORNING,Sound a sleep with the car still running.She goes to sleep while driving and has even admitted to not remembering how she got to where she was going,she only remembered getting in the car.Once,Her 7 year old made her pull into a parking lot and take a nap because she was falling asleep.
We have thought about doing and "Intervention"for her but don't really know how to go about it.We are scared for her life and don't know what to do.If she keeps going on like this she will die.She already weighs only about 90 pounds because she doen't eat.Anytime my phone rings day or night I'm afraid to answer it because I'm afraid it's someone going to tell me she's dead and I am sure my mother is the same way as well as my other sisters and brother,8 of us in all.
If anyone has any info on 'INTERVENTIONS' or any advise we would sure appriciate it.We just don't know where to go from here.Thanks!!
Now things have gotten to the point that my mother,my other siblings and I can no longer ignore what she is doing to herself and her daughters.She has moved back into my mothers home and has no bills to pay.She works 5-6 and sometimes 7 days a week and gets almost a thousand dollars a month child support but never has any money.The girls used to go dressed in the best of clothes,never wore anything but designers.Now they go dressed like rag dolls.She works as a waitress in the next county[a tourist town] over from us and hardly ever makes it home at night after work.She sometimes goes 3 to 4 days without going home to the girls,my mother keeps them while she works.2 of my other sisters live in the town where she works and it's nothing strange for them to wake up in the morning to find her passed out in her car in their driveway.We all feel that this is very dangerous and ahve to wonder where she ends up the other nights that she doesn't make it home.She has even been in my yard,not my drive, when I GOT UP ONE MORNING,Sound a sleep with the car still running.She goes to sleep while driving and has even admitted to not remembering how she got to where she was going,she only remembered getting in the car.Once,Her 7 year old made her pull into a parking lot and take a nap because she was falling asleep.
We have thought about doing and "Intervention"for her but don't really know how to go about it.We are scared for her life and don't know what to do.If she keeps going on like this she will die.She already weighs only about 90 pounds because she doen't eat.Anytime my phone rings day or night I'm afraid to answer it because I'm afraid it's someone going to tell me she's dead and I am sure my mother is the same way as well as my other sisters and brother,8 of us in all.
If anyone has any info on 'INTERVENTIONS' or any advise we would sure appriciate it.We just don't know where to go from here.Thanks!!
We made it so she lost her children. It was best for them, you can't expect a child to develop normally(even with other loving family members) if they are seeing their mother doped up all the time.
My sister also lived with my mother with her kids. It was incredibly hard for my mother, but she had to kick her out after the kids had been legally taken.
We all basically stopped talking to June. Not completley, but not like we used to. Do not lend her money, do not let her stay at your house. If she is an addict things will get worse and she will lose her job eventually, along with her child money if the kids go.
Basically, we had to let my sister find out what rock bottom really was. There were alot of tears, there still are. There were tons of angry words and accusations too.
My fiancee and I took in one of her children and many times we had to phone the police to come take my sister away. She would bang on our door until 2am, screaming...calling me names, threatening to kill herself. But we would not let her see her daughter until she went 2 weeks clean.
Now two of her children are living with their fathers. The third just legally became my mothers(her grandmas) child. My sister has no legal rights left. June has completed a rehab program, not that it worked, but she went. And she is attending erradic meetings with counsellers. She also checks in with her probation officer 50% of the time.
Doesn't sound like much. In fact, reading it back is sort of depressing. But it's a start. And for a long time we thought that there would be no fresh begginnings for her, just an end.
I'm still scared to answer my phone when it rings in the middle of the night. But I can do it now, because we let my sister see that she had so much to lose. And that the only way any of it would come back to her is if she gave up the drugs.
Keep hope. It seems impossible most days, but it's the only thing that will keep you from crying into your pillow at night because you had another dream where your sister was dead.
She has been using my 3rd sister's car to go to work in and there was a big blow up Wednesday night and all day yesterday over it.The owner of the car did not want her to take the car to Alabama and she cussed her and called her names over it and she told her to just bring the car home within an hour.She never took it and the other sister called the police and reported it all to them.They called it 'theft after trust'and said the car would be pulled over and returned and the driver would probably go to jail.Mom got upset over it all but I told her that this maybe the best thing for her because it might make her see that she needs help.Mom decided that she was not going to get in the middle of it and if she goes to jail she goes and we are not going to get her out.The biggest problem is that my stepsister is helping her and doesn't see that she has a problem and is telling her tha twe are all against both of them.
Stay Safe.