I just spent a few hours visiting my son at his rehab. This isn't our first run at it. But it's different. All the other times I forced him and he always left. This time he's doing it.

I have to say he looks wonderful. Healthy...working out in the gym everyday...tan. Smiling. I cant remember the last time I saw him smile. Or the last time I got a good hug.

We visited for awhile and went off to family group together. Everyone sat around with an excellent social worker. She asked some really great questions that got us talking. My son was never one for a lot of words. But tonight he spoke. Just hearing him participating brought such hope.

One woman said that she prayed so hard that if her son couldn't get better and would always be in pain let God take him. I saw the look on my sons face. He turned red and calmly said...that's a very selfish statement. I would be so upset if I knew that's how my mom felt. There's always hope. Without that from my mom I wouldn't be sitting here. And we all have our own feelings when it comes to addiction. There were days I didn't know how I would survive the pain watching what he was doing. I told him that there were days I prayed for God to take me and spare him.

I told him I was taking a vacation alone in a couple of weeks to another country to relax. I need it so badly. He held my hand and says Mom please keep your phone on. I will need to call to be sure you are safe. I'm worried. He's worried!!! Imagine that. I love that boy more then words. And tonight I got a glimpse of the son I knew before heroin. I pray to see more of him everyday.

I'm going to sleep a little better tonight.

I just really want to say to those who have children be hard on them. Use the police and the courts. Make noise with them and be heard. Don't take no for an answer. And stop being afraid your child will be angry at you. Don't question if having them arrested is the right
Thing. And Please Never give up hope. Keep praying. We can pray together

Some small steps again today.