I have the same problem with my son and he is now 24 years old and facing prison. I tried everything under the sun to straighten him out but not one thing worked. He had it in his mind that marijuana was ok. Well, if you smoke pot you cannot pass a drug test to get a job. That is why he never had a job. That is a cold hard fact. An addicts mind convinces them to override all that is lawful. An addict is very selfish.They will lie and steal and manipulate to get want they want..All addicts do this.If your son does not want to quit using drugs then there is nothing you can do to stop him. Please read this .It has helped me to understand how to deal with an addictI



F YOU LOVE ME, LET ME FALL
IF you love me let me fall all by myself. Don't try to spread a net out
to catch me, don't throw a pillow under my ass to cushion the pain so
I don't have to feel it, don't stand in the place I am going to land so
that you can break the fall, (allowing yourself to get hurt instead of
me)
Let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me, let me
walk the valley alone all by myself, let me reach the bottom of the
pit....trust that there is a bottom there somewhere even if you can't see
it. The sooner you stop saving me from myself, stop rescuing me,
trying to fix my broken-ness, trying to understand me to a fault,
enabling me.....The sooner you allow me to feel the loss and
consequences, the burden of my addiction on my shoulders and not
yours....the sooner I will arrive....and on time....just right where I need
to be...me, alone all by myself in the rubble of the lifestyle I lead...resist
the urge to pull me out because that will only put me back at square
one.
If I am allowed to stay at the bottom and live there for awhile, I am
free to get sick of it on my own, free to begin to want out, free to look
for a way out, and free to plan how I will climb back up to the top. In
the beginning as I start to climb out....I just might slide back down, but
don't worry I might have to hit bottom a couple more times before I
make it out safe and sound.
Don't you see?? Don't you know?? You can't do this for me...I have to
do it for myself, but if you are always breaking the fall how am I ever
supposed to feel the pain that is part of the driving force to want to
get well. It is my burden to carry, not yours.
I know you love me and that you mean well and a lot of what you do
is because you don't know what to do and you act from your heart and
from knowledge of what is best for me....but if you truly love me, let
me go my own way, make my own choices be they bad or good.
Don't clip my wings before I can learn to fly....nudge me out of your
safety net....trust the process and pray for me.....that one day I will not
only fly, but maybe even soar.

This site has alot of useful input from people who have been there and done that.

Take care,
Julie

Missina...Of course he acts like a child. He is a child. Please don't take take that as a criticism.... it is something I learned in my two years of studying addiction. At the time a person begins to abuse drugs/alcohol, their brain stops maturing. The centers of the brain most affected are the portions which provide "reasoning", "fight or flight" "fear" and "initiative and drive.".... No wonder, you say he acts so immature. For all intense and purposes, he is only 13. 85% of addicts are self-medicating. With all the time he has been incarcerated has he been evaluated for an mental disorders. Remember, drugs are not the problem, they are merely a symptom. If he does not receive therapy and counselling t help him deal with those issues and feeings he is trying to avoid, there is little no chance he will stay clean. ...
JMO, I would have him evaluated and get him some counselling, see if things change, if not. Alanon will provide you with lots of information and support to help you make the right decision for you.
Hugs!!!

I would try alanon and counselling as suggested, but if he does not think he has a problem then I don't see him wanting to attend.
If all else fails, it may be best to kick him out. Show him what a drug addict lives like when everyone, including themselves, has lost faith.
Good luck

I told my son "Lets put the drug issue aside. The fact your not working or going to school full time is reason enough to kick you out."
They have to learn sometime mom.
Good luck.
Joe