Maybe it's the rain, maybe it's just a 'slide back' today, not sure why but feeling melancholy and reading my sons' FB page he is with his 'birth fathers' place since last night, evidentally he ran out of places to stay and opted to 'try' living with his birth father...but I see now he is bored, blah blah blah....

I feel his anxiety on looking for a place to stay and feel "oh for GOD'S sake just let him come home..." then I realize I can NOT do that, I must stand firm and solid and force him to make his own way in his own life. That our lives do NOT mesh in any way shape or form.....and that I LOVE our life right now!

It is rainy, the hubby did SO much around here yesterday, washed all the vehicles, hung the pics in my 'sitting room'....he was full into projects yesterday, then I went to work, and today he is in his 'new living room' and in his big easy chair snoozing away and I'm up here sorting my thoughts and realize, it is sooo peaceful now. WHY in GOD's NAME would I want to change that? Because I feel badly for him, but he has had almost THREE months to figure it all out and hasn't moved forward at ALL in where he needs to be.

Although seeing him two days ago he was smiling and happy and that is the person he is. Always happy, always hopping around and enjoying life. But I think deep down he is soooo sad at all he has done and doesn't know WHERE to begin to get his life on track. I DO try to help him, but he doesn't listen to the advice I give, he seems to think he knows better, which is WHY he hasn't really moved forward. I want him to have a place to call a home, he seems to like couch hopping. Maybe I'm expecting too much and maybe he just enjoys being on the 'move'

Sometimes just posting and venting helps me through these rollercoaster moments....

I know I'm doing right taking back my own life, but maybe I'm expectant of a life only I want for him and not the life that HE wants for himself?

I hate these kinds of days!