early in recovery all the addicts energy has to go to recovery. I would suggest supporting her to keep on going to the meetings and just being quiet about other things sliding. or if she and you are ready, you can discuss the couch thing and tell her you will leave her alone until she is ready for more intimacy.
also, think about this, she probably was having sex with you while under the influence, so it must be very scary to not be relying on being relaxed or made horny by a foreign substance...
Just because they stop abusing whatever they use, doesn't mean they are back to what it was before. There is a new person emerging from a cocoon.
I would suggest that you think of this situation more like this: did you marry your best friend? if this person was your friend and not your wife, how could you support them? Right now, that may be what she needs.
It takes time.

Thanks Blueviolet, you sound wise...and I appreciate the perspective.

I have not pushed anything and don't plan to at this time. I also consider the cocktail of meds shes on and know that has to be a factor. That doesn't mean that selfishly I don't want a return to normal, but I told myself when I checked her into detox that would probably never happen.

We are in uncharted waters for sure. I do want to do the best I can for her, if I only knew what that was...

Any other loved ones of recovering alcoholics want to weigh in? Kind of in the dark here.

The drugs were controlling her emotions for so long it is common for the person who is in early recovery to no longer know how to feel and this can take a long time. Because the person is learning how to live without the drugs or alcohol to controlling their feelings. It can take at least a year and up to five years for the brain to recover. This is why many therapist now understand it is important for married couples to see a counselor. Even though the person gets sober, there are still other issues that need to be address.

If she is being treated with anti-depressants it definitely will affect her sex drive. Also it's possible that the medications (if being taken) might be too much for her.
Praying for her recovery and your renewed relationship.

Recovery and learning how to live a sober life is truly a process, not only for your wife but for you, you will see as she is learning to recover so will you. Take the time to learn about addiction, and get the support you need as well. I was devastated when we learned of my sons addiction, and I truly had to learn not only about addiction, I had to learn how to not enable, and how to take care of me first, because if I didn't do that I was useless for everyone else, keep coming back here there are so many people who will guide you and each one of us, have walked in your shoes,

Thanks all. I'm just truly angry today...

My wife is just about catatonic, no emotion for anything. No ambition to do anything. Nothing. All she can manage to do is watch tv in silence or play games on the computer in silence. She does get up and go to work, lifelessly.

Twice yesterday I asked her for 10 minutes so we could talk...about bills, decisions that had to be made, just talk. We were both off of work so it wasn't like there was no time. But nope, that was too much to ask I guess.

I know I need to get some help and support because as surely as her alcoholism would have eventually wrecked our marriage and relationship, so will this.

I'm trying to be patient, but does being in recovery mean you just get a free pass from life, from responsibility, from conversation, from everything?!

Well, gonna go to work and try to do something nice for somebody just to see a human reaction. That will be different.

Well, I'm happy to report that things are getting back to normal. It turns out patience was a virtue in this case. Thanks for the great advice!

Addiction is very complex ...underlying mental illness, medications, sneaking pills etc.
Most of the time many ups and downs.
How much instability can you tolerate, want to tolerate, and should you tolerate is the question.
You sound like a very healthy person ...I hope you find your answer.

That is awesome! One day at a time truly takes on a whole new meaning.

Please, please, please get yourself to an Al Anon meeting immediately. Many times Al Anon is held at the same location as AA, but there are many stand alone meetings, as well. My husband is an alcoholic, and I have been going off and on for 10 years, really grabbing hold of the program about five months ago and it has been a Godsend for us both. I see things in myself through the program that I just never saw...some not so good. What a superior, judgmental, self-righteous, bitter wife I was! As I learned to love myself and cut myself some slack, things started to improve. He's now three weeks sober, and we're dealing with things like we never have before. One Day at a Time by the grace of God...Good luck, my friend. Keep in touch.