Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I've never done this before but tonight I've reached a fracture point. I'm married to an alcoholic. I love my husband more than anything but tonight he told me that his love for himself was stronger than his love for me, that if I couldn't get on board with his drinking then I needed to pack my bags and get up the road. I sat there as he threw things and pointed out my many faults. I've been told not to take things personally when they are said in a drunken stopor.....I've also read that drunken words are sober thoughts. It's hard not to take these words to heart. He has a lot of deep hurt and sadness, he is a vet who has seen things that I can't comprehend.
Where do I go from here? How do I save a wonderful man who is using alcohol as a coping mechanism? How do I save a man that doesn't think he needs saving?
I want to understand him. I want our marriage to last. I want him to live a happy life.
If you look at your history objectively, words aside.. has he gotten better or worse in the last 5 years ?
Have you found an Al Anon group in your area?
You have to take care of YOURSELF. That's about all you can do. I am currently going thru some of the same things w/ my family.
But all I cab do is take care of myself and keep MYSELF safe emotionally and physically.
The disease will take YOU down as well if you do not get help for YOU.
xo much love. Ginger
My husband is also an alcoholic, but refuses to get help. He can handle social drinking, but is a binge drinker which is very difficult to handle. He's critical and has called me every name in the book. He has quit when I've threatened to leave, but over time, it starts up again. It is truly up to you whether this is the way you want to live the rest of your life. I'm lucky that when I've reached the end of my rope with his drinking, he always chooses me and the life we have together over alcohol, but, the cycle has continued for the 12 years I've known him. I am now 60 years old and know I won't tolerate it anymore. I am close to retirement and want nothing but a peaceful life. Life with someone with a drinking problem is anything BUT. This I have learned. I have given my 2nd husband his best life and he knows it, so he does stand to lose a lot if I leave.
I also agree NEVER to bring children into this kind of life. My husbands 3 sons" mother is mentally ill so his 3 sons didn't stand a chance with both parents bad DNA. His youngest son died last year of a drug overdose.
If I was younger, I would have left years ago, but I am grateful, he always chooses ME. Best of luck to you.