Yep he is picking s fight to justify the need to use, don't be surprise if he goes on a "last" binge before that bed opens,,,

Don't fight back, keep conversation to 15 words , don't raise your voice , that's what they want,,, he is feining,

Detach girl,, you can do,,, you want to yell and scream I will be your punching bag!!

Hang in there sister

I kindly reminded him that we are in this position because of his actions, not mine. And I told him that I am not going to sit there and argue with him. I'm not going to fight over text all day. I'm not going to take his irate phone calls. I have too much to do at work. I'm not having it.

I cannot control if he uses. If he decides to use, he is going to find a way no matter how many roadblocks I try to put in his way. I can't control him. I can only control me. I can control my actions.

So now I'm sitting in my office. Surprisingly calm. I think I'll work late today. And I have a late appt with my therapist. I started seeing a new one. This woman is amazing!! She is an addiction specialist. She has really helped me.

I agree with Cardinal, sounds like he is looking for a reason to have that one last binge...the "i'll quit tomorrow" theory...pretty typical, but no less hurtful to U. I would do my best not to engage him and try to do something nice for yourself....I know, I know...what a concept, right???
I know my addict used to do this all the time, would pick a fight over the tiniest thing so he could blame ME for one more binge....

Hold on, it's a phase. It's not easy for him and neither it is for you. Keep your distance, don't respond and let's hope a bed opens up for him soon.

You're so right. He needs to change environment and you need a big, fat break!

Glad you've found a great new therapist!!! And it sounds like you are getting stronger by the day to me. Keep up the hard work. It will be very rewarding for you.

Hang in there... Let me know how you found a therapist for Addictions only. I would love to talk to someone like that. Somedays we just need to know that we did not do this and they moved on not because of their love for us but that someone else would let them do what they want and say nothing.

I know it's exhausting, but he may be starting a fight to see if you still care. My person told me that once. She was scared I was worn out and done and would pick fights because if I fought back it meant I still cared. I was like, "but it also wears me out to the point where I DON'T want to fight anymore so while it is a check on my feelings, it also affects them, lol"

My company has an EAP (employee assistance program). It's completely confidential. I called them up and explained what was going on. They told me that I should see an Addiction Specialist. They set me up with my current therapist. And this woman is amazing!! Her specialty is opiate/heroin addiction. She mainly works with addicts in the IOP program. But she will also take some private clients. Truly an amazing woman!

Anyhoo.... Still no beds open for the addict. He still hasn't used. And he's still driving me friggin crazy!!

Thank you so much, and will follow up with my EOP program.Lots of luck

dont give in!!! its good you are recognizing whats going on! its just another part of the cycle of addiction take care of you and walk away from the situation go see a movie or go for a walk get away from the problem dont let him pull you in and dont give him an excuse or a reason to blame you, all the best :)