Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Last night my younger brother called me crying. Seems he was sent home from work because he was drunk.
My mother is an alcoholic, drinks one to two bottles of wine every night. My older brother is an alcoholic. My younger brother is an alcoholic. They both prefer beer, I've been with them on camping trips where they drink one to two cases of beer a night.
My younger brother called in tears last night. I have a drinking problem but, "I don't want to quit." I visited him once, last year. He had been sober for 50 some days. "I feel great, so much energy, it is amazing." Then, while I was there, he brought home a case of beer and drank it that night. He has been doing that since.
How do I go from here? Can I help? I feel so bad today, how do I protect myself?
My mother is an alcoholic, drinks one to two bottles of wine every night. My older brother is an alcoholic. My younger brother is an alcoholic. They both prefer beer, I've been with them on camping trips where they drink one to two cases of beer a night.
My younger brother called in tears last night. I have a drinking problem but, "I don't want to quit." I visited him once, last year. He had been sober for 50 some days. "I feel great, so much energy, it is amazing." Then, while I was there, he brought home a case of beer and drank it that night. He has been doing that since.
How do I go from here? Can I help? I feel so bad today, how do I protect myself?
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So mad at Xfinity! They're trying to charge me $115 per month for the same service I had been paying $50 the last four years. I took the equipment to UPS for shipping and cancelled my subscription today! Next door was a cookie shop called Crumbl. I had heard of it before but never went in until today. I don't need one more sugar fix, but maybe it will help with my sad) grieving heart....$15...
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
he (as well as you) has seen the destroying powers of the disease. He has to want to try again. It is totally up to him.
perhaps you can say that you believe in him and you think he can do it.
and now for you...
wow. with so much sickness around you..you must be doing pretty well handling all this by now. what can you do? try to be happy. create a new family of people you meet and love...love the addicts and keep your boundaries...ie, no drunk dials.
only you can decide what will be best for you. I have read all the alanon literature...and things like it. it helped me understand more about the dynamics our relationship
I wish you well. I hope others have good ideas to share.
He will stop when he is ready....maybe this is him getting ready..maybe missing work and talking to you is helping him realize he has to stop.
I too drank for the last year...and it took me to get sick of being sick to stop. I had people around me begging me, helping me, cooking for me, helping me shower....etc....and I still didn't stop until I realized I was killing myself.
When I was actively drinking...I didn't have the energy to care about what I was doing to others....I was only concerned about me and my health and I had a real hard time stopping even then.
The things that other people did that helped me the most...was tell me how horrible I looked, reminded me how happy my life was before drinking. The most effective for me was tape recordings of how I sounded or video of how I looked.
I don't know if you can somehow tape him on the phone and then play it back to him when he is sober....(the couple hours he may be)...when I heard myself....or saw myself it really woke me up.
I know you can't stop worrying because I'm not drinking now and all I do is worry about my drug addicted son...but I have to keep telling myself...this is in a higher power hands...and I can't fix him. That calms me for some hours of some days.
You need alot of support for yourself so I highly recommend Alanon. You can google meetings in your area. There, you will meet others who are dealing with loved ones that have drinking or drug addictions and learn how they deal with it!
My parents were both alcoholics and alcohol killed my mother. She was only 52. I was just a kid at the time and devastated. The guilt and shame I felt over my inability to help her lasted for 30 years and it wasn't until I received treatment for my own addiction problem, that I was finally able to "let go" of all that guilt I had been holding onto for so long! This is why addiction is called a family disease because it negatively affects the people surrounding the addict! This is why you need the help that alanon can provide!
That guilt that I had forced on myself affected every major decision, I made in my life, in a negative way, from the woman I married (I am now divorced) to the job I settled for! I was college educated but did hard manual work for 20 years and ended up with chronic back problems.)
They have to hit a "low" before they ask for help. If you see his world caving in on him, it's best to stand back and wait for him to fall because helping him financially or in any other way will just delay him asking for that help.
I know it is extremely difficult watching a loved one self destruct but this is why you need alot of support for yourself and alanon is a good place to get the support you so desparately need!
When he has finally reached bottom and extends his hand to you, quickly grab it and take him to the closest treatment center or AA meeting!
We will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted, we care!
God Bless!