Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My mom has been addicted to prescription pills since I was 8 (and probably other things also...she just hasn't openly admitted to it). Xanax, geodon, hyrdos, somas, roxys, benzo-something, etc., I can't even name everything she takes (she's prescribed 31 different pills....THIRTY ONE!!! because she doctor shops to get what she wants). She's done some TERRIBLE things because of the way these pills make her act that I won't go into detail about. (If she's not sleeping for a week straight, she's doing outrageously stupid things.) I have two younger sisters who are now living the life I lived with her. I also have a son she wants to participate with, which I absolutely won't let happen. I know in my heart though that because of everything she's put me through...I'm too rough on her. I snap at her, I quickly judge her actions, I never give her the benefit of the doubt....because this is what past experiences with her has taught me to do. Does anyone have any advice on how to let this all go so I can just have a mother, even if she is addicted? I don't want to be stupid & let her hurt me, but I also don't want her to die one day (which at this rate might not be too far off) & me be like ..."Wow, I wish I had had a relationship with my mother."
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So mad at Xfinity! They're trying to charge me $115 per month for the same service I had been paying $50 the last four years. I took the equipment to UPS for shipping and cancelled my subscription today! Next door was a cookie shop called Crumbl. I had heard of it before but never went in until today. I don't need one more sugar fix, but maybe it will help with my sad) grieving heart....$15...
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
Also, you have a right to be fed up with years of addiction. I love the addict not the addiction.
I don't think you should have to be with her when she is wasted (why bother, she may not remember it) and so that can limit any time you and your son can be with her. Perhaps a trip to macdonalds with a play area and you can sit and have a coffee and your child can play and she can watch.
I love my addict with all my heart, but being with him when he was using was too painful.
It all comes down to what you feel you can handle. You are the adult in this matter. And you should let your anger and snapping disapait (go away over time, like evaporation- donb't know if I spelt it correctly) because that anger is really harmful to you.
Set boundaries, and make them clear to her...then if she violates, feel free to leave immediatly. That is why I suggested a neutral place.
I too, feel bad for her other children. I hope they grow up to handle it as well as you have. Have you read any alanon books? I don't go to the meetings ( I did for a while) but I read a lot and I have learned new skills that I use with everyone in my life, not just the addict.
Keep coming back...let us know how you decide to travel.
Best to you and your son. Welcome.
But, what drives your mother's addictions are the things that cause her emotional pain. This is where she has to surrender to care and confront the traumatic stress of her life.
There is also a biological propensity and, perhaps, a chemical and Psychological dependency upon the things that have appeared to work for her...to relieve her pain.
It's a balancing act that can be difficult for a young person, such as yourself. I wish you the best, but try to see things from your mom's perspective and you may find some thing that you can do for her without you, yourself, being consumed.
after about 2 years I had to transfer to a different college away from home and stay in a dorm for the first time in my life. I use to go home on the weekends to check on my parents and my heart would be in my throat as I pulled into my driveway not know what I would find upon going through the front door! Would either of them be dead or alive? Usually I would find them either past out or in a drunken stupor.
The stress of being away from home and my mother on limited time due to sirosis, took it's toll on me and negatively affected my studies. A dean's list student at the community college, I was in danger of flunking out at the other school away from home. I was put on probation after telling my story to the dean.
The next semester, my mother's condition deteriorated to the point where I had to quit school and move back home to take care of her. I just could not concentrate on my studies and I was only a few courses short of obtaining a bachelor's degree.
Shortly after I moved back home my mother was throwing up blood one day and I called the ambulance. The last words I heard her say was, "My stomach hurts so much....I don't want to die!"
She died shortly afterwards and the guilt and everything connected with being an acoa, affected me so bad that my mom's dr prescribed valium to calm me down......and that was my introduction to using drugs to numb my feelings. Later in like I abused alcohol and drugs. Because of that, I lost my job, my wife, my home and my self respect. I had the addictive gene passed down to me.
So please be careful!
God Bless!