i am so sorry...you and your children deserve a better life and it isn't gonna get better only worse with him

I'm just so sad...

The most honest thing I can say right now is, I feel your pain. I recognize that all situations are different but the effects hurt just the same. Mine may not be on the couch passed out right now but he is at a friend' house and when we spoke 3 hours ago his speech was already slurred and he was already being obnoxious. It's this feeling of helplessness, like our hands are tied because we all know we can't make the choices for them, that really puts me in a bad frame of mind. I pray for you now that you can find the peace to not let this eat at you today. I'm so sorry to hear it.

I'm just going through another night without my H... why do I even bother staying with him when hes never really here anyway?

only you can answer that question..there are places that will help you and your children get a better life

Yes I know there are places just wish I was a bit more independent to begin with...

they will help you! please believe that! you are alot stronger then you think! I know it is scary ...

Thanks for the encouragement! People always say to do it for the kids if you cant do it for yourself. That's kind of what Ive been thinking about tonight. My 9 yr. Old is like dad why did u have to fall asleep??? And I told him it was the beer again and since we have talked about this many times, I asked him if he thought dad acted drunk tonight and he said yeah...

Hosea, when I left my first husband it was because a counselor had told me the statistic's of children who live with addicts. She said most children who have a parent or step parent that is an addict will repeat what they see. This is normal life style to them so they end up marrying or becoming addicts. I didn't want that to happen to my children so I left ah. It wasn't easy, but it was for the best. My 11 yr old daughter asked me, "what took you so long?". The one thing I wish I would of done, is as get into some counseling so I didn't repeat marrying another addict. The counselor I was seeing moved and I didn't go to another one.

Thanks katrinka. I know it wont be easy but I know it will be better for the kids...last night H got up from couch and went to bed and actually thought I should cuddle him but he didn't even say goodnight to the kids..no I didn't cuddle him...

Its hard to say that I need to leave because of the statistics of children being brought up his way and what will happen in the future. Even though my H has been drunk for a week straight...I still feel like I need to be a supporting wife..which is obvious getting harder and harder..with 3 kids and him a kid himself. I also have a hard time deciding what is for the best and what isn't and if its so bad that he works and gets drunk like so what fine is that really a reason to just leave him? Sure it sounds all fine but what if its the wrong decision?? I'm so confused...

which role is more important? wife or mom? that is what made me stop.. I tried for years to be a good and supportive wife just to have my heart broken over and over and over again... but I guess I didn't think that was good enough reason... but the first time he obviously hurt my son with his behavior that was IT. I had a larger obligation to be a good mom than a good wife. i have to protect my children... I chose to marry this man and stay with him... my kids didn't chose this family and they can't chose to leave when they have had enough.

Thanks that really helps me right now....

I'm sorry... I am telling you what made ME leave...

I know it's hard. I know... and maybe that's not the answer for you... I don't know... but whatever the answer is, it can't be to keep doing what you are doing. You can't keep living like this. I know exactly how it feels... I was a stay at home mom with two children not yet 2 years old, i waas terrified, i was lonely, heartbroken, felt like a failure... it's HORRIBLE.

i'm sorry, i'm not trying to make you feel worse.

That idea of having to choose between being a wife or a mom is similar to what happened to me. I felt like I had to choose between my addict and everyone and everything else in my life. Given that choice I choose my kids and the rest of my life. It was a choice I never should have had to make but that was the reality.