Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I guess the title says it all. The child was removed from the hospital yesterday, completing almost 5 months there. She has been taken to a state funded childrens' shelter 2 hrs away from here, a nice place, like a luxury hotel for kids. She was escorted by the hospital's social worker. She left without shedding a tear. My father was there to witness it all. Even the child's smile and goodbye wave to him, which broke his heart.
My brother has relapsed on heroin. Straight after the hospital my father went to the suboxone clinic and talked with my brother's therapist, who confirmed the relapse. She said not to worry too much.
We are OK with the relapse, we understand. The fact though that my brother is actively using again opened the door to the nightmarish world we had put behind us for the for 4 1/2 months.
I made the choice to be with my parents on his first day at home. I am proud of myself for keeping it together, for not letting myself be manipulated and deeply hurt. I got this.
He was high flying, he lied to my face, he screamed, cursed, accused, tried to manipulate whoever seemed more vulnerable. It worked with my dad.
We told him that the child should not stay at the shelter, that we are here for him and the little girl and that we welcome her to our life as part of our family under two conditions. Firts, that he goes back to the programme and follows through and that he will move on and let that woman go. My father spoke like a loving father, the caring person he is, tears came to my eyes watching him pick the right words and speaking from the heart. It was a gut wrenching sight.
My brother was nodding off.
He was all about the next fix.
He didn't say anything. Nothing at all about this breakthrough.
He asked for money. He was getting ready to go down town when I took the money and left.
He didn't go anywhere yesterday. But he did today. He didn't even call the shelter to get information on the child. He went to that woman. And spent the day there.
She was the one who brought him heroin in the freaking hospital. She is the one who told my father that my brother is using. She smiled with a grin when my dad told her that she got what she wanted: my brother out of the programme.
But it's all his fault, and I know it.
At least, the child is safe, away from her.
My brother has relapsed on heroin. Straight after the hospital my father went to the suboxone clinic and talked with my brother's therapist, who confirmed the relapse. She said not to worry too much.
We are OK with the relapse, we understand. The fact though that my brother is actively using again opened the door to the nightmarish world we had put behind us for the for 4 1/2 months.
I made the choice to be with my parents on his first day at home. I am proud of myself for keeping it together, for not letting myself be manipulated and deeply hurt. I got this.
He was high flying, he lied to my face, he screamed, cursed, accused, tried to manipulate whoever seemed more vulnerable. It worked with my dad.
We told him that the child should not stay at the shelter, that we are here for him and the little girl and that we welcome her to our life as part of our family under two conditions. Firts, that he goes back to the programme and follows through and that he will move on and let that woman go. My father spoke like a loving father, the caring person he is, tears came to my eyes watching him pick the right words and speaking from the heart. It was a gut wrenching sight.
My brother was nodding off.
He was all about the next fix.
He didn't say anything. Nothing at all about this breakthrough.
He asked for money. He was getting ready to go down town when I took the money and left.
He didn't go anywhere yesterday. But he did today. He didn't even call the shelter to get information on the child. He went to that woman. And spent the day there.
She was the one who brought him heroin in the freaking hospital. She is the one who told my father that my brother is using. She smiled with a grin when my dad told her that she got what she wanted: my brother out of the programme.
But it's all his fault, and I know it.
At least, the child is safe, away from her.
I am holding on altough the effort required is close to enourmous. My father is my priority now. Having gone through 4 stokes due to high blood pressure, I have to be as composed, clear minded and understanding as possible. He is type A personality, does not want help or guidance. He's always been the one to help others. A kind and very proud man. Supporting him is a tricky thing. I'm trying to be smart about it....
My brother is clearly showing us that he is back to using and that's that. I am much more experienced now. I am not giving up on him, I told him so. He has to meet us at least half way though, no BS, no lies. For the time being, he doesn't give a rat's a**.
please take care of yourself and don't let all the worry about your dad and your brother make you feel too overwhelmed.
we are here for you. Sad.
So, so sorry for what you are going through. What a devastating situation!
Sounds like you know the deal already, and you know your brother has to be ready before anything else can happen. Sometimes it's a waiting game with our addicts. Take a deep breath and stay strong for your dad's sake.
Your family will be in my prayers.