This day was coming it just took awhile. I hope the child will be safe and taken care of and that your brother and gf don't get their child back unless they prove they are off drugs for some considerable time. The child is what about 3 or 4 now?

oh dear, and if your brother was sentenced to 4 months how is he coming home?

Talked with my father again to understand what the legal steps are from now on. I don't know the word, but this is the first sentence according to law, which is not applicable until the court hearing. If we lose, we will appeal, have another court hearing and then will the sentence be finalized. I am sorry if the title sounds dramatic, I am in shock.

Yes, Katrinka, this day was coming. I hope that woman loses custody, there is not a chance in a million that she gets clean and sane. I don't want to sound harsh, but she is an outcast and should have been in jail years ago for fraud and prostitution. The child is 3 and 2 months old.

I HOPE AND PRAY WITH ALL MY HEART, MIND AND SPIRIT that his eyes will open. Knowing that HE left the child all alone disgusts me. He used to say that he goes there to be with the little girl while that woman does whatever she does for hours. Although I know how good of an actor he is, you know how it goes, you don't lose hope to the point of becoming blind. My brother is as irresponsible and dangerous as that woman, although we know that the child trusts him, much more than the monster mother. I am ashamed of him and I am ashamed of myself for having a brother like him.

Ooh Pen YOU have nothing to be ashamed of!!!

your brother wasn't always like that. the drugs take over and change the person. hopefully this is his bottom and he will get the help he needs. you should be proud of yourself for saving this child. you did the right things. hugs dear pen xoxo

Hi Pen - been off DS for a few days due to crazy work schedule and just read through all your posts. I'm floored that things spiraled as fast as they did but wanted you to know how impressed I am with your handling of what could have been a really bad situation had you not interceded on behalf of that little girl. I hope she's doing well and my prayers that she'll not be too affected by all the events.

Would like to encourage you though to look into getting her a child advocate who will be there to not only represent her but possibly you and the interests of your direct family as well. The Court will more than likely appoint a Guardian Ad Litem which is standard practice but they don't always take into consideration the interests of the extended family (you). Having an advocate will allow you to participate in and maneuver through all the court proceedings in a way that will insure that "everyone's" interests are considered.

Wishing you all the best and keep us posted.

Sweet Pen, forgiveness is a wonderful healing tool... Please don't let bitterness take over your heart... It will destroy you, but your brother won't be affected at all... Grace & Peace girl

I am doing OK, weirdly enough. No bitterness, no shame. It was just the initial shock, which has now given way to arduous research. I found out that legally-wise my brother is not exercising his parental rights since there is no marriage, which means that he is not legally responsible for the well being of the child, which leads to the question of why was he sentenced (and what for? My father asked him but he said he didn't know). I am not trying to save his sorry a$$. Still there are questions of why he was given that sentence.

The child is still at the hospital as far as we know.

Today my brother went to the new rehab programme and was found clean. He was given the first pill of buprenorphine/naloxone. I couldn't see that coming. I don't count on his words ("this is a much better programme than the methadone one", "the therapist is such a nice lady", "I'm going to make it this time"). The only thing I take into consideration is actions. I am DONE, have been for some time now.

Cyndee, where we live the child's advocate is the district attorney for children herself. She is the one who takes the case to court. Standart practice here is that these cases are taken to court in six months. There is still a lot to figure out about the legal side of the situation. I am researching for a good family lawyer who has handled similar cases.

What is important now is that the hospital is meticulous in examining the child. Nothing we can do about that.

From the godmother of the child we've learned that when she visited the little girl a month ago, she found her with a dirty diaper on, sitting amongst carbage in the the foul smelling house, her body and head covered with crust from being dirty. She offered the child some baby food, but she wouldn't eat. The child seemed aloof all the time and when the mother shouted at her (cursing) she froze. The godmother has disappeared. She said she wants nothing to do with these people and that if she knew about the mother's addiction she wouldn't have accepted a monastery's offer to baptize the 3 year old. Icing on the cake, the mother kept calling her asking for money.

I know in my heart that this is not only a case of neglect but also of abuse. Everything depends on the research the D.A. will conduct. There are people in that block of flats. They must have seen/ heard something.

I am crossing my fingers the child is not given to the grandparents. They are no different from the mother.

Where there is life,, there is hope,,, this little one has been saved,, unfortunately she has no idea what a mommy is like,, which makes me not only sad,, but very mad,, their first three years if life is about being loved, taken care of, learning who they can trust,,she may have a rough start,, but hopefully she will have a better finish,,,she will have scars,, hopefully ( wish it was me), gets the priveledge of showing this little one,, the true meaning of love,, she will be just fine,,

Dear pen, I'm am truly sorry for this pain. I am especially sad about this innocent child. I will pray that she will be put into the head so of someone who can love her and take care of her. Your brotHer will be in my prayers.

Today my brother and that woman are testifying to the D.A.. They testified to the police the day the child was found. They were withheld throughout that night in jail.

He took his second pill today but admitted last night of having taking a strong downer when he went to that woman "for support in this time of crisis".

Her parents are asking (through my brother) that they meet with my parents. That'll happen when hell freezes.

They asked why we don't take the child ALONG with the mother at our house.

Brother said they visited the child at the hospital yesterday and "she is doing great".

WTF (pardon my french), but honestly, WTF. What more will it take for him to see how low he has fallen. Police, child removed, D.A. interrogation.

My mother called me crying, I am not of steel, I try hard to be positive, logical and there for her. I am afraid about my dad. He has blood pressure issues that have sent him to the hospital more than once.

I'm writing to you to let it out. My husband is up to his ears with work, I have to be calm and there for him. I can't talk about all this to any of my friends and relatives.

Big girl pants on. Tomorrow I am taking my mother and her sisters for shopping and lunch. Life has to go on, even if it feels as if life is falling apart.

Yes, Cardinal, when there is life, there is hope. I hope the little girl is removed from that insanity. (don't take me as a cold person for not talking about her more. It is a subject that pains so much that words fail me).

you are doing great. Addiction IS insanity. the girl is safe, and authorities are now involved. It all sucks, but you and your family have taken action, and that is what is most important. Be well.

Dear Pen, I am so srry for all you and your family are going through. I haven't been on the site in a few weeks and today I thought I would catch up with everybody. I applaude your courage and your strength, you are amazing. I hope everything works out in the end and the little girl will be taken care of, I wish you ALL peace!

Hugs,
Pat

Pen- I agree with Jainlor that you did the right thing and with kimpalmer about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. I heard that somewhere several years ago. If you can do it - forgive- it's one of the most rewarding things you can do in life.

Big hugs my friend

Forgiveness. In my language it means to make room for the other side and to embrace the other side's position. In this sense, I cannot and will not forgive neither the mother nor my brother for putting a child into danger. It is not acceptable. I agree with everything else. I do feel bitter sometimes, but the hate towards her has stopped. It almost ate me up alive. No more.

He was gone for 3 days in a row. Said he was at the hospital. I don't know if I believe him. My parents do. Last night he showed up ready for hard core fight. Parents found the strength not to engage themselves. Accusations, swear words, blaming everyone etc.. That was his situation. His suboxone had a life span for two days. The time was up. Today he took another suboxone and seemed calmer. Even suprised with how well the clinic staff is treating him.

He said a few things about the child, but I know they are not even half the truth. Things the child psychaitrist told him. That the child is aloof, cannot concentrate, that she is distant and drools too much.

Drooling. I don't know anything about it. Anyone with experience on that one? (ie, child of addict and drooling). The rest, I know from research.