HI vegan and WELCOME to our family. Al-anon meetings or nar-anon meetings are for us, the loved ones of alcoholics or drug addicts. If you cannot find a nar-anon meeting use al-anon. When they use the term alcohol, you just insert the word drugs.

Addiction is a family disease and we get very sick too if we don't take care of ourselves. We cannot do a thing for the addict but support their recovery, BUT we can take good care of us, as I said so that we keep our peace and serenity.

Relapse sadly is often part of their recovery. It happens often. And I believe that a relapse begins as soon as they stop doing all those things that they are supposed to do, to keep clean. The using comes at the end of the relapse. They need to change playgrounds, playmates and playthings. Meanwhile, we can only manage our lives ONE day at a time.

My daughter is the addict in my life. I know how painful this is. Please know that we are all here for you.

Codependent No More is a wonderful book. The author is a recovering addict and she has So much to say that is very valuable for us and our feelings. I highly recommend it.

Come here and be with friends, and post as often as you need to.
I will send up a prayer for you and your loved one..
EllaBlue

vegan, I just want to add that not everyone relapses. I did not mean to imply that. It does happen often, and I think we need to be aware, but I just don't want you to think I was saying that is a "for certain" thing.
((hugs))
EllaBlue

I am also new to this group. I found out last summer that my husband was addicted to pain killers and helped him to wean himself off of the drugs. Eight months later he relapsed and I found that he was hiding the drugs in his socks. I took out half of my retirement to pay off credit cards that he opened in my name in order to support his addiction and I cannot do it again. This time he is going to begin an intensive outpatient program and I am hoping that if we do this with professionals involved this time that he will not be as likely to relapse. I have two small children and cannot go through this again. Any advice?

veganlove and nikki,

Yes, the best advice I can give is find an Alanon or Naranon meeting. It will be great support for YOU. You have got to take care of yourselves, and learn about addiction and learn about yourself, and what you might be doing to enable, etc. You will learn coping skills in these groups that will help you deal with all you face, and with many of life's challenges.

If you can, I would also suggest counseling, individual counseling for yourself, and/or couples counseling. In a relationship, if one person is unhealthy, it effects both people. If one gets help to get better, and the other does not, one person is still unhealthy. Both people should get help, and take the journey to wellness at the same time.