Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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Lynnedz56 10/01/2012

I never thought I'd have to deal with this again and I have to say I have enjoyed my last 4 years without any addicts in my life. 2 months ago I came back to live with my parents. (Long story). And I have come to realize that my father (81 years old) is addicted to vicodin. 3 years ago he had a pain in his lower abdomen. While doing testing, they gave him vicodin. Now...3 years later they have NO reason for the pain and I have discovered that they continue to give him vicodin. He also spends a lot of time in the hospital and they give him morphine, send him home with yet another script and on we go. It came to my attention on Thursday. Seems he ran out of vicodin and my mom called for the doctor to give him more. It took 24 hours for him to get the medicine. In that time his pain got worse and worse, he developed cold sweats and got very, very nasty. As soon as he got the pills, he was fine. However, he took 4 in the space of 4 hours to get relief. He went to bed and the next morning, he said he slept great but was coming back. Another vicodin...pain gone. Before vicodin...miserable, angry and almost violent. That is when it hit me....I feel certain the pain is not from some undiagnosed stomach problem, but withdrawal from the vicodin. Since I've been down this road before, I think I know what I'm saying. I talked to the pharmacist this morning and she agreed. So, I went to my dad's doctor. The assistant told me that "pain management" is about giving people meds so they can have a "better" quality of life. However, I pointed out, my dad has NO quality of life...he sleeps with the pain pills or curls up in bed in pain when you take them away. I also told this assistant that my dad had a long history of pill "abuse". And he also had a violent temper. The assistant found that hard to believe since my dad is "wonderful" in the office.

Anyway, I feel frustrated, angry and don't know what I can do. Anybody else have any experience with this sort of thing??

joleneLS 10/01/2012

I would make an appointment to talk directly to the doctor. A patient is supposed to disclose if they have had a pill problem before, and there is a good chance your dad didn't tell his doctor this.

cardinal39 10/01/2012

I know this is probably the wrong thing to say,,, sorry up front,,, but Gosh at 81,,, let the man live out whatever life he has,,, with comfort ,,,, it almost like telling a 80 year old to quit smoking, after being diagonased with lung cancer,,, what's the point now,,, I know I will get a lot of hate for this one,,,,

blueviolet725 10/01/2012

I think the doctor needs to be seriously educated...this cannot be the only person he is over prescribing to.
As to Cardinal? you have a point, but there is the discussion of quality of life...and the potential of falling and suffering more pain because they are wasted out of their brains...My mom is 82 and still works full time and plays tennis twice a week. She has some pain in a hip...and we are hoping she retires by Christmas this year....Perhaps this man could have been the same energetic workaholic my mom is....Just sayin' another side to the coin.

Anyway, Doctors over prescribe the most potent crap for the least little thing and I think it is beyond reprehensible.

And Lynn? you have to protect yourself so that you are not overwhelmed in dealing with this....and the assistant? I might have bitchslapped her. She was totally ignorant...of course an addict is sweet to manipulate getting more drugs. Geez!

Anyway, there is no easy answer on him...withdrawal certainly would be stressing him out, and would have to be done in a hospital to be safe.

cardinal39 10/01/2012

Totally agree,,, this era is pill popping! What happen to the days of take a walk,, drink water,,,,,????

Cudos to "mamma blue" there are 40 year olds that could not keep up with her!,

Pills are over rated,,, shame in those doctors that woukd rather write a script, then spend 30min just talking,,,,

Lynnedz56 10/01/2012

He is not comfortable with the pain. He either sleeps on the pills or gets upset when he doesn't have them. 3 years ago, he was VERY active. And then he developed stomach problems (I feel from tension and stress in the home...another long story). He quit eating and fell and broke his hip. more pain meds. He had heart surgery, more pain meds. So,he has gone from a VERY active person to nothing and it hurts to see it. I feel that if he was detoxed off the pain pills, the stomach pain would disappear and he could get back to life. Out here in Arizona we have elderly communities and lots of 80 and 90 year olds are VERY active here. The assistant also told me that my dad could very well get physically violent.

laurap1980 10/02/2012

I have to say, I agree with cardinal....he's 81....let him have his pills if that is what he chooses. I seriously doubt going through a long rehab process is going to make his quality of life better. My experience with old people (I mean 80's) is that they are going to have problem after problem, addict or not. Some of the issues he is having are probably addiction related, but others may not be (less active, etc). At 81, how he spends his last years should really be up to him. (Sorry! I now that isn't what you wanted to hear, just my honest opinion).

Lynnedz56 10/02/2012

Now he's demanding my mother give him the pain pills every 4 hours or less. She tried to keep him on schedule, but now he's threatening suicide. So...we just sit back and let him OD. O.K. When, if that doctor would detox him off the dang pills the stomach pain might go away and he won't need anything. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong that the doctors can find. So, because the doctor got him addicted, we just let it go.

jms7229 10/02/2012

i also have a parent , mother in her 80's addicted to any opiate she can get her hands on. she doctor hops, sickness is her happy place. i have tried to intervene by speaking with my sisters (one agrees, one does not) my dad is totally the enabler. i have also spoken to her primary physician and also once to an er physician, but...... as we all should know by now. how much control do we really have over an addicts choices no matter what their age?

katrinka 10/02/2012

I know you can see how the pills are effecting him, but at 81 is this a battle you want to fight? There can be so many reason's for pain, from the hip surgery to his stomach. Recently I have been in a lot of pain, the pain is everywhere, from my joints, muscles it just hurts everywhere. So I was taking Aleve, gel caps, which caused my stomach to hurt. Finally I went to the doctor and I tell him how I am aching everywhere, how sometimes I just want to cry because the pain won't stop. He gave me a prescription for something I can take that won't hurt my stomach and told me to cut back on the stress. I think the stress from being married to two addicts and the heart break from my divorce, plus running my own business, and then going to school may have given me Fibromyalgia.
So maybe at 81 let him live his life however he wants and make sure you take care of yourself. Eventually we have to decide what battles to fight and which ones to just let go of.

deleted_user 10/03/2012