Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My sister is getting her 30 days sober chip tomorrow and she asked me to attend her NA meeting with her. I said yes, but I'm starting to freak out now.
I don't know what to expect being in a room with a bunch of addicts. And how do they really know that she was sober for those whole 30 days...how do I know she was?
If she wasn't then I'm just showing my support for something that is a lie. And I don't want to do that.
I have worked so hard to extract myself and my family from her poisonous life, and now it feels like this may be a trap to lure us back in.
On the other hand I do want to support her in her decisions to be sober, and i don't want to be the negitive force in her life. I want to help her as best I can without being coaxed into the mess she had created for herself.
I don't know what to expect being in a room with a bunch of addicts. And how do they really know that she was sober for those whole 30 days...how do I know she was?
If she wasn't then I'm just showing my support for something that is a lie. And I don't want to do that.
I have worked so hard to extract myself and my family from her poisonous life, and now it feels like this may be a trap to lure us back in.
On the other hand I do want to support her in her decisions to be sober, and i don't want to be the negitive force in her life. I want to help her as best I can without being coaxed into the mess she had created for herself.
You may be surprised to find that N/A meetings are all different kinds of people. Lots of very young adolcents, or early 20's. Moms kickig their oxy addiction.. Its not just a room full of crack heads, who look homless.
These people want to support your sister and help her, and taking that step to tell her , Im here to help you, but im not here to help you die, is a great start.
Encourage her to get a sponsor if she doesnt already have one. So if she has the urge , she can call a friend.
to us, we dont know how it feels. We couldnt fathom how it feels to shoot up everyday, or sell your body for coke money. But this is life for a lot of people, and we may work with them, go to church with them, be freinds with them, and NEVER know.
She is taking the first step by going to NA.. this means a lot . Please let her know how proud you are for her, and how hard it was, and that you look forward to seeing 2 months, 6 months, a year!
The meetings generally start with the "lord grant me the serentity to accept the things I cannot change... " and then a few people will tell their personal stories. She will be recognized for her sobritey,along with those who have 1 month!.
Even if it was a lie, you are being a good sister and supproting her in a health habbit.
Laura
So, you may see your neighbor, a friend, the man on the street, or church. Lawyers, carpenters, mothers, daughters, sons, fathers.
Addict has no boundaries and doesn't discriminate. It is an equal opportunity disease. Yes, she could be lying and take the chip when in fact she hasn't been clean, but it id unlikely. Addicts in recovery know they are only fooling themselves.
The rooms have a power. This includes Alanon.
I would say, go and listen. The point at which your sister will start to make amends is yet to come, but she may want to you to hear what she says, and you may find that you are glad to have heard it.
If you go, go for yourself. This is not one more thing that you are doing for that addict. If your sister is really in the mindset of recovery, this is not opening a door for her to create chaos.
As to whether she is really sober or not, here is something that may help...I don't know how many meetings she is making, but an active addict would have trouble making even one every day, and being sober at each one. Unlike those who love the addict and look the other way, the people in those meetings will not tolerate any BS. Nobody like someone who has walked the same walk and talked the same talk to be able to call out an addict.
Do not have any expectation, good or bad. If nothing else, hopefully you will find some peace from this, and hopefully there will be a 60 day request from your sister as well. Maybe as those days stack up, the two of you will find a way to begin forgiveness.
Good luck.