patnard, While I do not pretend to have the answer to this, I do know that IF you give her some of yours, she can still go get more from those places. What if she does something or something happens while she is on those, and it comes back that she got them from you?? Legally, you could get in trouble.

Does she have the money to go buy them off the street? I would really call her day program counselor, and ask them what to do. She finds ways no matter what you do.

If you give her yours, then she is going to think she can do this again. It will never end.

Just my opinion.

Its against the law to give her your medication even if you both use the same drug.
I would let her figure it out, she took too many to begin with and I would let her know that because of that she will run out on such date. Even if she goes to clinic she will be taking responsibility for her own previous actions. Don't make this easy for her.

Yes she does have a little bit of money to buy a few pills if she had to. I tried to call her psych nurse but she is out sick today. I think if I gave her a few of mine with the understanading that this will never happen again it might be ok. I just know that if she has none until her refill I will have to live in daily hell. I would give her 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 for bed which is less than she is prescibed and she can take it or leave it. I just can't wait until her day program starts to take over giving her all her med's it's to much for me.
I'm not trying to make less of this situation because I do know she is an addict but she really is not a bad person. She just can't control handling her med's herself, she really does need help until she learns how to. Hopefully the program she is in can teach her those skills and get to the root of her problems because I do realize that until she can get hel woth those problems she isn't going to get better. Thanks for your input wisconsin, I can always count on you when I need too.
Hugs,
Pat

patnard, I can feel the fear in your words, but when I read your post, you are doing what I did for so long, I was the safety net and it doesn't do what we believe we are trying to do. Because one is in a progam doesn't mean all of the suddent they start learning. I will offer you this advice in hindsight, knowing now what I wish I knew 2 years ago. by giving her your pills what are you really doing? your telling your daughter once again, it's OK that she took too many? each little step we make, it's a hugh step for them to start realizing that there are consequences associated with there using. Don't think for a moment that once the Doctor take over, your worries are over, it's not that simple. Pat, take the first step for you and take the burden off of yourself to worry about her pills, and let her worry about her pills. I know it's not easy but at some point you have to start doing this for you and for her. Hugs,

Katrinka and dmatt I understand what you both are saying really I do, but if she goes someplace else for a few clonopin and she will, wouldn't it just be easier to do it this one last time. I'm just a mess right now, I'm anticipating all the fights, I just want peace in my house. dmatt I know my problems aren't going to go away when her program starts giving her her med's, but if she messes up after that she's on her own and she knows I mean it!!

I hope you will listen to everyone here. They are all so right. Until she really suffers consequences she isn't going to even begin to get better.

Pat, I understand how hard it is and you have to do what you believe is right in your heart. I just know that the more we enable them the harder it is for both us and them. As i said I only know this now, when I was in the throws of it, I was doing anything, and everything in my power to save my son, little did I know I had to save myself first.

We cannot be the professionals in this situation. We are too emotionally close to make these kinds of decisions. Let the professionals do their job. This is where it is imperative to practice emotional detachment. Her problems are not your problems. She has to learn how to deal and gain control over her own life. If she is an adult, even though the behavior may not be adult-like, making decisions for her may not in her best interest. This is the hardest part to figure out, when to let go. Sometimes we may think we are helping, when in fact we are harming. I had to get a lot of professional help in dealing with my codependency because it was killing me and contributing to the problems in my family. I have learned that I do not want to be responsible for another human being unless it is my minor child. My adult children have had to learn to go elsewhere when I tell them I will not go along with their request if I know it's not in their best interest, and they are very resourceful. I will help them and be there for them when they are making healthy choices, but I will not support them when they are not. I had to learn this in order to maintain my sanity and gain a sense of control over my own life. Going to an in-person groups such as Alanon/Naranon/CODA is invaluable. I wish you the best.

Pat ,, I'm sure by now you already made your choice,, I did what feels good at the moment for your circumstance, just remember insanity is continuously doing the sane thing over and over and expecting different results,,,,
Well behind your back,, your daughter is smiling because once again she won ,,, that's how addicts think when they get their next fix,,, so until you mean what you say,,, and say what you mean,,, the addict has you held hostage,, and controls your actions,,,

Trust me I know it's hard,, you just want peace,, want our addict just to be normal,,, this is not normal,, she took to many of her pulls at one time,, do your going to give some of yours,,, step back a min,,, UHm now who is the dope dealer ?!

Love ya ,,, momma!!

" wouldn't it just be easier to do it this one last time." Wish I had a dollar for everyone, "just this one last time." There never is one last time until you stop enabling her. By giving her the pills it sends the message that you do not mean what you say.

Guess what I made it through the day and didn't give her any of my medicine, believe me she wan't happy about it but I told he she knows where the door is. I know this isn't the end of this but I did make it through a day and 1/2. I just keep on coming back here and reading all your advice and I know you are all right. I just hate this crap I know it's not my problem but why do I feel like somehow it is. We are not fighting or anything she is pretty much laying on the couch all day, but her son is coming over tonight so she won't be able to just lay around for the next few days.Her psych nurse is still out sick and she can't go to her program until they get together, so until then I just wait. I have to admitt even though I should feel good about this I am really in the dump today. Thanks for all your advice my friends. I'm trying.

You did good, even though it may not feel like it. If you give in, then she will know you will again, and again.

You stuck to your guns, and didn't do it. It may not have been comfortable, but it was the right thing to do. She has to know that you have your limits.

It's not about perfection , it's about progress,, boundaries are easy to set,, it's sticking to them,, if you ever see that cardinal,, I'm lurking,,

Insanity is;,,,,,,,, you know the answer

"Just one last time" if I had a dollar for every time I heard that I'd be a millionaire.

It's a vicious cycle. I pray that you can be strong.

The bottom line here is that it is illegal for you to give her some of your pills. My mom did that thinking she was helping my son and she got into a lot of trouble when she ran out of hers and told her doctor what she did. As he explained to her...he could and should have had them both arrested. At some point we have to say NO MORE!!! To our kids, our spouses, everyone who is an addict who touches our lives. And as someone said on here, if you think her doctor taking charge will end your problems....it won't stop.