Before the sun rises, I waken to find anger in my heart.
This is how my day starts.
I can't see beyond the mess that you are now,
I can't see that person with dreams,
I see the drugs, the lies the deciet.
The I love yous don't mean much anymore,
It's just a way you get your foot in our door.
The hugs, so meaningless so manipulative
that is how you get us to give
everything we have, in our heart and soul,
you're doing the devils bidding till we have nothing left inside,
till we feel life is not worth living and want to die.
You do the drugs, we pay the price, you feel fine and we want to die.
What part of this is okay, i'm sorry i let you back in, but you just can't stay.
I'll pack up your things, take my keys back now.
Not sure where you'll go, but sure you'll figure it out.
It won't be okay, ever, i surely have my doubts.
If one day you are free of your demons, and need a hug, I'm not sure if I can muster that up.
People earn love and trust, it is not something owed, you've taken all that and now you have to reap what you sow.
I don't feel the love I had, I only feel contempt, I don't have the trust I had, it's just all anger pent up instead.
I hear the laughter of that little boy, who use to be my everything,
but I turn around and he's not there, just the devil in disguise, at least you've got your Mothers eyes. I hope you look in the mirror and see those eyes looking back at you and realize that she wants nothing but the best for you.
This is not what I had planned for your life, I visioned a beautiful house and an even more beautiful wife. Don't think I'll live to see that day, but I'm hoping that your alive when I pass away.
I realize the pains in my chest are nothing but my heart breaking more, and even more every time I close that door.
I hope one day to find my son again, but not sure if that will be,
but still I'll keep that hope buried somewhere deep inside of me.