Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
I have a confusing but interesting background but I will be writing about that soon on my blog.
All my life I've told myself that since my mother didn't live in the same house as I did, her addictions didn't effect me. (Not true.)
I said the same thing about my alcoholic grandfather too.
I never thought I'd end up loving and living with someone who was an alcoholic, but I did. I made excuses for him all the time. The best ones were, "Yes, he drinks a lot but he gets up every morning & goes to work" or "He's a functioning alcoholic." When I finally realized the pattern I was following, I told him he had to move out. Which he did. For which I'm eternally grateful because it opened up the door for a healthy, loving relationship that has turned into a wonderful marriage.
I am now dealing with a 17 year old who has started drinking. (And he smokes pot.) I'm not a drinker--at all. His father drinks very rarely. He's been to meetings, is in counseling, but I'm so, so concerned & scared. Therapist is a specialist in teen addiction. I guess I just need words of encouragement, support & guidance.
All my life I've told myself that since my mother didn't live in the same house as I did, her addictions didn't effect me. (Not true.)
I said the same thing about my alcoholic grandfather too.
I never thought I'd end up loving and living with someone who was an alcoholic, but I did. I made excuses for him all the time. The best ones were, "Yes, he drinks a lot but he gets up every morning & goes to work" or "He's a functioning alcoholic." When I finally realized the pattern I was following, I told him he had to move out. Which he did. For which I'm eternally grateful because it opened up the door for a healthy, loving relationship that has turned into a wonderful marriage.
I am now dealing with a 17 year old who has started drinking. (And he smokes pot.) I'm not a drinker--at all. His father drinks very rarely. He's been to meetings, is in counseling, but I'm so, so concerned & scared. Therapist is a specialist in teen addiction. I guess I just need words of encouragement, support & guidance.
I am going to work very hard to do my best (and yes, if I can't I'm (which could be very possible) going to then work harder to just let them hit bottom). The last part is probably easier said than done. Wow thanks for the insightful posts.
Trevor also has a black belt in karate. Actually, he has a second degree black belt. I know what you mean about having to do a hundred pushups! You can't do that when you are high. It's devastating to think that the kid who was so amazingly fit and healthy and could do such great things physically can now barely get off the couch.
Your son plays guitar. My son played the violin beautifully. I remember how proud I used to be at his recitals. I recently asked him if he ever picked up the violin. He said he tried once and can't remember how to play. He never tried again.
If he still has these skills, hang on to them and encourage them. Also, learn from my experience. I have pictures of Trevor playing the violin and doing his karate, but I don't have videos. Now that I know that he's unlikely to do either again, I really wish I had the videos.