Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My husband is ten weeks clean! To him, it feels like it has been years for me, a nano second.
Things are okay between us. I definitely feel like we are at least in the same book. He wants us to be on the same page, but I am learning that will take time and that is okay.
One thing I really need to get better at is to stop thinking about the past. For example, we were speaking about planning my son's 8th birthday party. This is the first time ever, that he has wanted to be involved. I should have embraced the moment, instead of thought about last year how he didn't have a birthday party because I didn't have the bandwidth to get it done. It just made me so angry and I find myself in my own head thinking about every last moment. I have to keep reminding myself that those moments that he lost with me and the kids were his moments not mine. I have been engaged and present with my kids.
One other thing I want to point out, my husband is on Suboxone. There is no way, he would be able to stay clean without Suboxone. This is coming from him as well as me.
I encourage to look for treatment centers, doctors, etc... that will provide medical assistance to help our loved ones stay clean.
Things are okay between us. I definitely feel like we are at least in the same book. He wants us to be on the same page, but I am learning that will take time and that is okay.
One thing I really need to get better at is to stop thinking about the past. For example, we were speaking about planning my son's 8th birthday party. This is the first time ever, that he has wanted to be involved. I should have embraced the moment, instead of thought about last year how he didn't have a birthday party because I didn't have the bandwidth to get it done. It just made me so angry and I find myself in my own head thinking about every last moment. I have to keep reminding myself that those moments that he lost with me and the kids were his moments not mine. I have been engaged and present with my kids.
One other thing I want to point out, my husband is on Suboxone. There is no way, he would be able to stay clean without Suboxone. This is coming from him as well as me.
I encourage to look for treatment centers, doctors, etc... that will provide medical assistance to help our loved ones stay clean.
but try to enjoy every golden moment...and especially for your son.
as to not doing great on last years? we can only do what we can do....so let that go too.
I have read that after extended periods of time the addict can be weaned off. This time gives them a chance to learn the coping skills and understand what it will take to stay sober.
Happy Birthday to your son!
But the great news is 10 weeks clean -- congratulations to your husband, and to you for the motivation and support you have provided..May that comfort and energize you as you move forward.
With their addictions come the programming we are put through so that WE can keep ourselves safe, a defense mechanism.
I so hear that loud and clear. With time, coming on 5 months now after 6+ years, it is getting better, it does begin to happen, but I have to program MYSELF to NOT think the thoughts and think of something in it's place.
Hugs and prayers to you! Congrats to him. 10 weeks to a recovering addict DOES feel like a lifetime.
Hopefully this will be a birthday party with good memories...for all of you.
Of course you are going to think of the past...I believe it is a form of PTSD...you are so conditioned to the "old" behaviors, let downs, drama, that your brain is automatically conditioned to go BACK there.
It will take time to re program and to TRUST...and believe me...as a recovering alcoholic...he WANTS this as much as you..but that still doesn't mean it will continue...I can't explain the overpowering urge that all of a sudden comes out of nowhere that has made me fall so many times.
However, I did have 8 years at one time...so it IS possible...and I hope this is HIS time.