its hard to say we are all different and have are reasons.But i would say never try to understand don't tell her you understand.just keep reminding her you lover her and you will not give up on her.some where deep inside she wants to know she is not alone.no matter how bad things get don't give up on her,she has to see that there is a glimes of hope. i will pray for her

Thank you so much for your reply. I would never give up on her ever. I love her so much and I am trying to help her feel that. I believe in prayer so thank you for yours. After she took the pills, she felt regret and reached out for help. Her intentions were strong and the doctors said it was extremely serious. She knew exactly what she was doing but yet wanted to stop it. She did not really want to die. I think she wants to get rid of the pain and I don't know how to do it. This is where my desperation is. I have to help her somehow. At this point she is pushing me away. I will never give up. She is my only child.

I attempted suicide (have severe depression) a month & a half ago..I can tell you that she will need as much support from you as possible - regardless whether she wants it or not..someone with severe depressions instinctively alienates themselves from others..
Do not be confrontational or judgemental; telling her things like:
- You have everything to live for how could you want to kill yourself;
- there are others who're worse off than you why can't you see that;
Statements like these, I think, minimize & belittle their situation or problem making them feel weak and ashamed; this will drive them more into insolation..
Go to her sessions with her; help manage her meds; make sure she is eating healthy & getting quality sleep; establish a scale (1-10) of how she's feeling - these are some of the things you can do to intervene another attempt; she needs to know that someone cares & that she isn't by herself..

Thank you so much for your ideas. I will take into account all of them. I always used the 1-10 idea with her growing up. It worked very well. I found out today the hospital in not releasing her. They are moving her to a different facility on an inpatient basis. No one knows for how long. She is expressing a lot of anger toward me right now. My support goes to her from a distance through phone calls to the staff on her condition. I am taking it one day at a time because each day can be so different. This is all a very different learning experience and I will always be there to support her. Thank you for your ideas and suggestions.

The hospital your daughter is in sounds more responsible than the one mine was in (four times for the same thing). Her anger will subside. My daughter was very angry when I uncovered her elaborate suicide scheme in summer, 2008. But she came around when the meds started working. Because of HIPPA laws, unless she signs a release her psychiatrist can't talk to you (thank you, Federal government). My daughter was 20, also, during her first attempt.

If she lives with you, take precautions. I did. Lock up all over the counter meds; keep her meds locked up and dispense them daily. Take away her car keys. I even locked up the scissors and knives and screw drivers. Remember: someone intent on ending their life, someone who really means it, will do it no matter what. Ultimately, we are not God and we have only so much control. Psychiatric testing (there are written tests) should give them some diagnosis (or at least an attempt at one).

I've walked in your shoes. I've fallen down in them, too. My heart goes out to you, I know only too well what you're suffering.
Jill

Thank you Ellzeena for your reply. I am sorry about your daughter. Right I feel my life is moving is slow motion and only going through the motions in getting things done.
My daughter is also a cutter and started doing this in junior high but kept it well hidden for years. At the time I found out about the cutting, she was in high school and was having suicidal thoughts. She reached out to her dad and asked for professional help. I so admired her for that courageous decision then and can only guess now why she did not do it days ago.
She is in a good place now and I am praying that she can get the help she so desperately needs. One of her doctors told me that 'they' meaning the hospital staff are going to hold on to her tight. They are not taking this lightly and they are not just going to release her and let her go on her own. I am thanking God everyday for that and praying everyday.
I know her anger will lessen in time. And deep down I know she loves me. I think there is so much pain and she is trying to free herself from it. She just doesn't know how.
She lives on her own and has a roommate. She has access to any and everything. In this case it was an overdose of Tylenol. She was also drinking alcohol and she was very disoriented when she arrived at the hospital.
She does not have any history of drug abuse and she is a very smart person. She graduated at the top of her class in high school and earned an academic scholarship to a major college. She loves music, has been involved with dance for 15 years, she has excelled in her employment and has exceeded in everything she has set her mind to.
Right now I am at a loss. I can't figure this out and maybe I am not suppose to. I can't help but feel in someway I am responsible. Right now I am working on regaining some energy and getting through this day. Thank you again for your input on this and please write again.

Sounds more like shame than anger at you. Pass the word on that you forgive her, "I don't care what you did. I only care that you are okay!!" might mean a lot to her. (I am a suicide survivor.)

When people hide the knives, scissors, razors and lock up the OTC meds from me I feel well cared for & loved. It sends the message to me that people understand that I don't walk around 24/7 wanting to die, that the urge comes out of no where and only lasts brief seconds (I am bipolar) and they are taking precautions to keep me from hurting myself during those fleeting moments.

Being your daughter is just 20 she might see locking things up as controlling and juvenile.

Hang in there. She sounds like she's in a good place. Maybe they have an outpatient clinic with the same doctors.

Mental health first aid courses the DS links but are many around these day http://www.dailystrength.org/health_blogs/cyndi/article/cpr-for-mental-health-new-course-teaches-how-resond-to-a-mental-health-crisis

Might help her to get her to read this http://www.dailystrength.org/people/587001/journal/3739108

I really hope that your daughter is doing better, and is talking to you by now. I wouldve responded sooner, as it broke my heart to hear your pain but everyone wrote such great responses, and I cant really add much advice.
But I hope your daughters doing a lot better and she is willing to get some help. God Bless you and your daughter and Happy Mothers Day.

A serious suicide attempt or plan is something that needs very close attention. My daughter LIVED with me and I literally had her on "lock down" in my home and had all her meds locked in a safe (along with over the counter meds). People who intend to take their lives WILL NOT ADMIT IT TO ANYONE. The people who DO admit it are subconsciously looking for someone to stop them. The fourth time my daughter was hospitalized, I wanted to put her into long term psychiatric hospitalization. She begged me not to do that. I was alone, no counsel, I loved her more than life, so I took her home. Huge error but I am not responsible for her actions, her illness is. YOU are not responsible, do not accept blame. My daughter was 23, I was told obtaining legal guardianship for the purpose of long term hospitalization and evaluation was expensive and wouldn't work (judges are very slow to do this). Talk to the psychiatrist in charge of your daughter's case. Ask what you can do to be certain she won't be turned out, loose, to go "home" and repeat this action. Trust me.
jill