That's a very difficult question to answer.
I tell myself that if my friend knew how much her decision hurt the people who loved her, she wouldn't have done it.
But we also have to understand that in those moments that our loved ones chose to end their lives, they were consumed by pain. I can't help but think they are incapable of realizing the gravity of their decision, not just in regard to their loved ones, but also in the fact that there is no turning back. Once someone dies, they can't return to life. By ending the pain for themselves, they create a lifetime of pain for the people who love them. I realize that this is in no way their intention, but it happens.
I read your poem. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, I can relate.
If you ever want someone to talk to, I'm always around.
-Megan
x x x

It is difficult to answer and maybe they do maybe they don't, depends on religion.

i tried committing suicide once, and to tell you the truth, i didn't think about anyone but myself. All i cared about was my pain and how i wanted it to go away. I couldnt stand living everyday so unhappy and alone.

Maybe it is different for some people than others. I guess it all depends on the circumstances that drove them to it

In my brother's case, he did it to hurt our sister after an argument. He left a note blaming her. I believe he had an idea of how much it would hurt her.

Hi Sweetheart, I am so sorry for your loss. I had these questions as well (everyone does who goes through this tragedy). For me, it's been 5 years. I was angry with him for so long but my emotions changed which is so called "normal".

I still question this question but am finally beginning to understand, although he seeked attention and help (we gave 400% but it wasn't good enough), I truly believe he couldn't find any other way.

I am so sorry and know it hurts so much. Most don't understand unless they've been through it and suicide isn't like Cancer. People don't understand and don't want to hear about it. This is a great site for support. I don't have the answers by any means but feel free to write to me. You're not alone.

I dont know what they think i lost my husband 13 yrs ago and my brother 4 months ago i am finding it very hard to understand why i miss them so much maybe one day we will get the answers we need

Having had conversations prior to my friends death, I would have to say no, he couldn't have possibly comprehended how his death would impact the lives of many. I believe for many their thought process is twisted in believing that others would be better off without them. Maybe this was a final stage of denial where he was able to rationalize with himself that what he was going to do was ok. To disassociate himself from the severity of his actions and justify his end.
I often wonder, if in the aftermath, did he witness the complete whirlwind of chaos and sadness that erupted the moment(s) as all that loved him heard of the news?
The day will come when the answers we seek will be provided. Until then I believe it is important for all of us to honor their lives by living our lives. Being compassionate to others, supporting, encouraging and educating.

I think that the reasons people choose to end their life vary so greatly from person to person, but I think that generally they have justified their reasons in their own mind that even though they know people will be upset, but think that ultimately everyone will be better off without them.

Since my husband died I have felt a huge disconnect with those who I know love me. I feel a void, like I am a walking zombie and somedays I feel like, even though they would be sad for a short time, that they just can't understand the pain that I feel that seems to be never ending. Sometimes I think that they would get over it quickly, and that it would not be as bad as how I am feeling every single minute of every day.

But then I snap back to logic and realize the reason I am feeling this agony is because someone did this to me. I have to really struggle to think of my friends and family are feeling though, and when you are feeling this low, it turns into a downward spiral that just keeps pulling you under. It is a struggle, but if they knew how much hurt they cause, if they really understood it, then I don't think they would do it.

I think often times, depressed people are filled with such self-loathing that they are disgusted with themselves and don't feel they deserve to live anymore. Add to that, the fact that their logic gets all twisted and killing themselves seems like a totally reasonable thing to do. Absurd, I know, but I think this is true--that they get a sort of 'tunnel vision" where everything else, even their closest loved ones, take second place after their problems. The person may also be affected by anti-depressants, alcohol, drugs, etc. that also makes them prone to acting on impulse.

One of the young men in my support group lost his brother to suicide and two years later attempted himself (after battling drugs for years). He said he was so totally consumed with his own guilt and pain that what he was about to put his mom through FOR THE SECOND TIME did not even occur to him. He just felt so worthless and felt he did not deserve to live. I think perhaps that happens with all of them.

Hi
Im really sorry for your pain.
Im not certain what your loved one was thinking when they took their life.
I am suicidal though and so I can tell you how I feel.
I have a history of sexual abuse and 20 years of depression. Every day I think about ending things. I am suffering badly and at the time your loved one took their life, they would have been suffering badly too.
For me a big part of what keeps me hanging on is the thought of how I would hurt my family. some of my family know that I have suicide feelings and they have said me dying would devastate them and have begged me to live on. I care about my family so much and really dont want to hurt them. However trying to continue living is so very hard when I am in so much pain. I have tried alot to heal and cope. I have tried 8 different medications and have had lots of talk therapy and other therapy. I have tried to change my pattern of thinking and do exercise and yoga. It feels like I am getting no where though and things are getting worse. Over the years I have given up on my dreams and goals and its like I have now resigned myself to dying. The part of me that is fighting to live is getting smaller and the part of me that wants to die is becoming overwhelming. Just now I have rang a government psychiatric organisation to tell them of how I am feeling. I actually saw them back in January at the hospital because I thought I was having a breakdown. They recommended another type of antidepressant which I ahve been on since then. At the highest dose it was making me worse and you ahve to go off these meds gradually and I have done that over 2 months. The lower dose wasnt helping me.
I dont know what is left for me to try. I feel at a loss. My sister who knows I am suicidal loses patience with me and says Im not trying hard enough and I would be selfish to take my life. Perhaps I could be trying even harder but I feel already I have faught so hard and I am really, really tired now. Fighting on is becoming almost impossible when such a big part of me just wants to give up and end this suffering.
I really feel for you all who have lost loves ones to suicide. the thought of how my family would hurt if I died fills me with so much guilt but at the same time I am in so much pain.
Sometimes also we may think that it is better that we are dead than be a burden to the family. I feel bad already for what my family knows of my suffering and wanting to die. I could lean on them more, tell them more but I dont want to be a burden to them. I dont want them to put their lives on hold to have to take care of me and prop me up and financially support me. I can imagine how draining it would be on a person to have to take care of a person who has depression and is suicidal. I really dont want todo that to them and I wonder what would be worse, me dying or me leaning on them and sapping all the energy out of them. I have leaned on one sister a bit and it is draining to her. At times she has said that she can help me anymore and has to put her own needs first because my negativity makes her depressed and interferes with her life. She also gets really frustrated because on the outside it probably doesnt look like Im doing alot to help myself but in fact there is a major war going on in my head. I am constantly fighting the negativity and bad thoughts, I am constantly trying to be positive and have hope and not give up. I feel like a drowning person clutching at straw. That is how hard it is for me.
When a person takes their life I think that they are feeling very similar to how I am.
I hope this helps you understand how they may have been feeling.
There are terminal illnesses such as cancer where a person may fight and receive treatment and yet they end up succumbing to the cancer. Maybe at the end they could have fought harder but they were just too tired and in too much pain and some cancer sufferers may have given up the fight. I think this is similar to suffering from depression. Continually fighting and struggling through life is so hard. Some people value life and for the most part enjoy life but for depression sufferers it is mostly hard and torture.
So I think most people who die are thinking about their loved ones. They are perhaps giving up in part to spare their family suffering or at least they do consider the feelings of their loved ones but they are in too much pain to continue and this overrides any other thoughts.

Sonyas77 thank you for being so honest! Hugs to you!

ive attempted suicide more times than i can count on my hands and toes. and yes those last minutes of life all i was thinking about was myself and how much i wanted "it" to go away.

its the most selfish thing you can do.

i never realized how much i was tearing my family apart, i was so wrapped up in myself. the world just consisted of me and my demons.

I think of ending my life all day everyday. I know that it may hurt friends and family, but they know nothing of the pain I feel constantly. I am so depressed and anxious and no one is able to feel what I feel, and I hope no one else dose.