I estranged my self from my parents a year and a half ago,which inturn my brothers wont talk to me. One I didnt like anyway the other I thought was close. Been ill a with chronic pain due to multiple back surgeries. Parents never believed it was as severe as it was. They had one successful surgery. I had five and the third handicapped me at 33. Was ill for years with severe autoimmune disease but misdiagnosed. It has severely damaged my central nervous system. Recently diagnosed. My father has autoimmune issue but not severe however mom refers to him as your poor father. Alcoholic,dry drunks now. Dissociative and bipolar as well as n Both are mentally ill. Narcissistic. They were terrible parents. Still totally neglecting, mean and abusive. Was a battered.child and the scapegoat. My parents have done nothing but put me down, critisize me and gossip about me and my family. Running back and forth to my sibs.starting trouble and.breeding contempt. My dad is delusional. Seriously. He has his own reality. Mom caters to all h is needs and put him first and his moods swings instead of us. Never protected us. Never accepted responsibilities for their actions and blame everyone else. They convine each other that their bad behavior is normal. We were brainwashed to groom my fathets ego and parent him. Last summer I was hospitalized for a.week. They never offer to help with my kids and I dont ask because even though they have not worked for 20 yrs. They are too busy. Meaning not willing to help. Too many examples to list. Mom came here uninvited and angry at me once home. She ripped me a new one, told me there is nothing wrong with me other than feeling sorry for myself. Called me an fup. I was too sick and stunned to fight. Cut them off. They raise their hands at my kids and threaten them. Make comments when my answering machine is on about me that they dont know recorded. I am so ill but if they dont have it I couldnt either. Mom is so jelous.of me and has lied to me my whole life, constantly compares us and expects me to be her clone. Bottom line I am garbage. Dad is all Italian and only males mattet. Big chovanist. Anyways lots of damage that cant be repaired as they refuse to see me as I am, not what they believe I am. Meanwhile they support my 43 yr old oldwr brother drug addict andhas no morals. I see no way to reconcile as they only name call when I bring up valid arguments. I just have so much anger and resentment because I have no quality of life and am isolated and lonely. I ache for relationships like my friends have. Therapy is useless as I have gone for years and the feelings never go away. I can only be a better parent than what I had. I just wish the hurt and yearning would go away. I lay awake having pretend conversations in my mind that I know they would never sit still and listen too. What I know logically doea not stop the heartache. I do know that I sure dont miss the interaction multiple phone calls checking on me to see if they approve of my day. Dont miss feeling subhuman It is the best thing for me but I so desperately wish I had more support than my husband.