ESTRANGED FROM FAMILY Community Group
This group was created to talk about family situations where estrangement was chosen or others have chosen to estrange you. Many families are now estranged with individual members, not excluding; Sister-in-Laws, Brother-in-Laws, Parents, siblings, Uncles, Aunts, the other family and so on. Sharing the reasons for estrangement in order to help those who are new in...
Last weekend was my nieces' birthday. Mom called my oldest brother (I hate when he talks with her). Mom wanted to send his daughter a card and a gift (she is about 9 years old). He told mom that his daughter has a lot of stuff and that she is not into fingernail polish like most girls, she is mostly interested into her movies but he never told her what movies my niece is interested into. The next day was his wife's birthday, my mom wanted to send my sister in-law a birthday card but she was told by my brother that his wife is fine. To me it sounded like he was saying "No" and for mom not to send neither one of them a card or nothing. When mom was speaking with him on the telephone, he was totally quiet until mom asked him questions about his family; especially if mom said anything about myself or my youngest brother (who lives with us).
Sincerely I don't understand the behavior from other family members and I don't understand why I'm the subject in their conversation. My oldest brother feel that I can not speak for myself, I have to get mom's permission to speak or do anything. That is totally not true because I have a lot of things on my shoulders, my mom is having eye problem, I'm trying to keep my utilities on by making arrangements with the bill people; dealing with family BS, seeing my mom hurt because of what her other kids say. I have one brother who said that he wanted to meet mom ALONE at a restaurant or someplace. Mom can not go any place alone because she is in a wheelchair (at times she can get out of it). I have another brother who is upset because he can't get his grand kids; my sister's daughter said no one can view the pictures of her kids unless they have $25 for her website. My oldest brother's daughter is getting married but she did not tell my mom nothing about it, and she said that if my mom was living near her, she would beat her up.
Another problem I have in my family is that if you tell someone something, they may switch your words around example my mom talked with my one brother about some things about she feels about the medical field here in Wisconsin and etc. My brother told another relative something different and now this relative won't speak to my mom anymore. SIGH!
Has anyone ever had experiences like this before?
Sincerely I don't understand the behavior from other family members and I don't understand why I'm the subject in their conversation. My oldest brother feel that I can not speak for myself, I have to get mom's permission to speak or do anything. That is totally not true because I have a lot of things on my shoulders, my mom is having eye problem, I'm trying to keep my utilities on by making arrangements with the bill people; dealing with family BS, seeing my mom hurt because of what her other kids say. I have one brother who said that he wanted to meet mom ALONE at a restaurant or someplace. Mom can not go any place alone because she is in a wheelchair (at times she can get out of it). I have another brother who is upset because he can't get his grand kids; my sister's daughter said no one can view the pictures of her kids unless they have $25 for her website. My oldest brother's daughter is getting married but she did not tell my mom nothing about it, and she said that if my mom was living near her, she would beat her up.
Another problem I have in my family is that if you tell someone something, they may switch your words around example my mom talked with my one brother about some things about she feels about the medical field here in Wisconsin and etc. My brother told another relative something different and now this relative won't speak to my mom anymore. SIGH!
Has anyone ever had experiences like this before?
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My 5 year old came forward on March 5th That another child in his class was reaching into his pants under his underwear and touching his penis each time he was in this class. The offending child and him sat alone at the table, clearly out of sight. He was trapped because he was afraid of disrupting class and afraid of the other kids, laughing if they knew what happened. The disturbed child...
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I was in an abusive relationship for 17 years it's the only relationship I've ever even been in so what I thought of as love im now finding out wasn't love at all and that sucks my dad says things like I just need to let it go and it's insulting frankly. I let it go for 17 years just because I'm no longer being abused doesn't mean the pain and anger are gone. I refuse to let it go when I was...
SOMEDAY THEIR CHILDREN WILL DO THE SAME THAT IS THE EXAMPLE THEY HAVE BEEN GIVEN.
TAKE CARE, LOVE**
I had said to my mom "what you reap and is what you sow'. So often I would try and talk with her because I feel the same way as yourself. I love my family, believe it or not but I feel not being around the ones who hurt you is better than being hurt all over again. I had even told her how I feel about moving. I told her how we moved a lot and then after the newness ware off, we found ourselves going thorough the same crap over, over, and over again. My mom is a good person (I'm not saying that because I'm her daughter) but I know my siblings. They can be manipulative and bossy. There is seven kids in my family, including myself.
I'm unhappy with my oldest brother because of the fact he brought up old information from my mom's past, what makes it worse is that he is probably being friends with his dad, the one who used to abuse my mom and him. I remember in 1988, when my family lived in Ohio, we went to my aunt's funeral, we passed a liquor store where his dad stood in front of drinking booze. When we passed it, he said that he wanted to go beat the hell out of his dad for being a sh44y father and husband. Now I'm hearing that he is talking to his dad and believing everything he say.
You are so right! I really try so hard to not focus on my family because of the emotional pain it brings. It hurts and grieves me so much that a brother of mine is coming here to live in the same town as we are but still he refuse to listen to us when we try to warn him. His behavior reminds me of what he did in the early 1990s, when we lived in California.
This is what happened, my mom asked him not to bring his new girlfriend (who is now the mother of his daughters), to our home but he persist. One Sunday mom and I made plans after church. Our plan was, to stop at the grocery store, on our way home (we just lived down the street from the church). Then we were going to stop at a bakery because I enjoy eating the desserts. Then we were going to stop at Taco Bell, the neat thing about that is because we were frequent customers, we did not have to order, they knew exactly what we wanted. Instead of us keeping our plan and then enjoy the rest of the day, my brother, his girlfriend and her little girl were on their way down to the church where we were. Each and every time they came to our home, trouble seem to follow them. Then my mom would get sick. We would get strange calls from people he knew and they did not like him (for whatever reason), the sick thing about the calls, the person did not say anything but breath heavy.
I do love my mom a lot and that is why it hurts me when I see her hurt because of family bull and or from outside the family. I'm trying very hard to prevent things but it's hard sometimes. Example when I last talked with my brother, it was still cold and snowing, I asked him about his little grandkids because they are sick and have physical problems, he told me that they would be find. He also told me that he was considering moving to another place there in California because the doctor told them that the kids need a nuerologist. Instead he and his family moved to Wisconsin (near us).
You know? I'm really upset about what is going on in my life, how it gotten my mom, she is now having nightmares about kids, things are just a turmoil emotionally. I'm trying to be positive by talking about positive things.