My wife and I were sitting on the couch, hand in hand. It was the 9th session with the counsellor, a 50-something lady named Beth who was initially trying to suppress her inner angst at our revelation about our trial sexless marriage and what that actually met. But, initial half-hearted suppression of her angst, punctuated by a nervous shaking of her head led to a marked transformation. As the sessions had gone on, Beth seemed to do a 180. Beth asked a lot of questions and by the 5th session started saying, well this certainly seems to work for the two of you.
Mid-way through that 9th session Beth announced that she could no longer be our counsellor. She stated that first of all she felt that we had successfully charted a course for our marriage, that the marriage was secure, and recommended that it was time to move beyond the trial stage and make the sexless marriage permanent. But the real reason for stepping down from her role as our counsellor was that she and her husband had initiated a trial sexless marriage.
As Beth put it, a marriage is composed of many things. It is a partnership, a friendship, a building of a home - not so much a physical one but an emotional one. Sex is usually important in the begining but falls off to a greater or lesser degree as "life" pushes it aside. Then along comes hormonal changes in both men and women that affect desire. Desire is still possible, but it is harder to ignite the fire. Perimenopause, menopause, andropause, erectile dysfunction. So then, sex sucks. Divorce?
No. Try to tend the fire but if that won't work, separate. Separate the sex part of your marriage and keep all the rest. That is assuming there is lots to like in the rest.
Beth explained that she had some latent lesbian thoughts and her husband latent gay thoughts. They decided on a trial sexless marriage with the understanding that each of them would explore their same sex desires, wading in carefully. Her husband tried first, discovering that he could achieve a satisfying climax after all. Beth then tried, discovering delight in the arms of a woman. As Beth put it, my husband does not need an erection with a man. Beth staed that her thin vaginal walls were not a problem with a woman.
Beth also spoke about an alternative to the sexless marriage. The intercourse free marriage. As she explained, older men have difficulty with erections and older women with vaginal dryness etc. Banish intercourse from the marriage and these are no longer issues. The couple can experience sexual delight with mouths, tongues and fingers.
As my wife and I left the counsellor's office we reflected on what happened the last few months. I am no longer on the libido reducing medication. With the help of Cialis I can get a firm erection. When I don't take Cialis I am soft. Once a week I get a prostate massage from Gina. In between times I use the PS New prostate device. I experience a wet dream about three times a month. My wife still sleeps with Stephane who we now know is sterile. Gina's back has much improved and she is now pregnant after I took Cialis and gently mounted her while her husband and my wife watched. My wife and I are thinking a temporary release from our sexless marriage so my small hard penis can inject some potent seed into her to knock her up again.
Life is really, really weird. But, it turned out really, really good!
Hi I'm need to this. How active is everyone in the group? I don't see much activity the couple times I've been on.
I have been married for almost 14 years. I got married excited and very in love with my husband. At first I thought he was shy because he was not very sexual but if he looked for me from time to time or I had the initiative to be intimate and he would respond. I got tired of seeking intimacy with him and wanting to be desired. My husband says he is always tired and I always tried to understand...