That's unfortunate, but they are not real people deserving of you if they turn away from you. You don't need them! I have been fortunate, my friends have all stood by my side, which tells me they are true and genuine people. You will find true friends real soon- they are out there- keep your chin up and don't give in to the frustration!

I am sorry for you. It really hurts me that some people would abandon someone just because of an illness.

I was lucky. Both my ex wife and my wife come running if i have a seizure. They have both been right there telling the dr's and medics exactly what to to. holding my hand and helping me feel safe and secure.

Again, I am sorry they left you.

i'm sorry you went through that. when people do that, they don't understand. they don't know how to deal with it, so they run away. if they were real friends, they would be right at your side all the time. i went through what you did also so it's a good thing we have family. i'm so sorry.

Men are such wuzzies...lol. Note that by and large it is the women who are the care takers while the men are heels and elbows out the door. Take comfort. I know of at least two really great guys who have stuck by us while we went through this. They are out there and he will be worth searching and waiting for.

I feel for you...You actually never said the people you date are men so I won't assume lol, if they are that makes it much harder,my husband and I were together for 9 years before I started having seizures and at first he was so horrified and felt so helpless that he threatened to devorce me...I think some part of his mind rationalized that perhaps it was a plea for attention and if he threatened me I would stop. Of course it did not stop, he slowly adapted to it and eventually said he was sorry for wanting to leave. Now our relationship is stronger than ever but you know however wrong it may be for someone to react that way you have to see it from their point of view, it is frightening and they feel helpless and don't really know what to do or think. Some women have trouble dating just with kids let alone seizures...My heartfelt advice is this hun,
if you meet someone you really like and are just getting to know them ease it in to the conversation ( as much as you can EASE that kind of thing) and make it part of getting to know you because then they are fully aware of what they are getting into before anyone can get too attached. Explain it to them very throughly, what they can expect and what they may have to deal with. I know how hard it is to explain this stuff to others and I know how humiliating it can be sometimes but you deserve someone who loves you for who you are...seizures and all. It's so easy to say just screw the people who don't get it but the reality is more people are going to not get it then get it so what you need now is to form new relationships with people who are willing to learn to understand and stand by you. It is going to be ok! Honestly I know how lonely it can be but there are many people out there who are willing to work it out if they really like you and you'll find them! Good Luck and take care, Candle..

my husband and i had been married for two months when i stared having seziures...grin.. two months later i was dx... three years later a stroke...then two years later...MS....sigh...yep .....talk about taking the in sickness and health a bit to far...grin..

i found that education is the best key for all concerned...the more you reasure those around you.. and educate them the more comfortable they will be.... they need to know what to do so that they dont feel helpless in the situation...

and by the way as far as the one who ran away...grin.. not the right one for you hon.... if he/she ..i to will be carefull..grin.. had cared at all...they would have stuck around and learned...not run at the first sign of trouble...

hang in there.,.. the right one will be there for you..

hugs
heather

my landlord loves me and i her,but one day she told me not to tell people about my seizures cause some people are scared. sucks but it's true. but still it hurt my feelings because she said this while she was trying to rent the apartment next door. it made me feel like i'm such a freak that nobody would ever live in the same neighborhood as me. come to find out that is one of the reasons the last tenant left.

and when my seizures 1st started my daughter would cry if she had to be in the same room as me.she wouldn't look at me. she was really that scared.took about amonth before she'd hug me.
my own mother won't let me come over to her house if i need someone to watch me when my husband isn't home and my seizures are acting up

even the people that love you can get scared.i hear that i can look and sound possesed. i guess that guy was afraid your head might spin if he tryed to kiss him!
but there are people out there who aren't scared at all. my husband grew up with seizures in his family. we had just started dating when i started having seizures. i didn't want a guy staying at my house over night but he refused to leave untill i was on some kind of treatment that worked, well, thankfully he asked me to marry him before that day came!
so hang in there. they won't all run away.

whatisamom...that must have been so hard on you..sigh..
i have been fortunate in the aspect that my yongest grew up knowing what epilepsy was about..and now that he has just recently been dx...he has accepted it rather well...he is 15...

and like you... it is not all roses...grin..

i have an aunt..that i took over custody of her children when they were teenagers...sigh.. for 5 years...of course during the puberty years..grin..

when it came time for the oldest to get married by this time i was dx....she did not want me to attend the church aspect of the wedding...was afraid i would sezie during the cermony..sigh..and cause a scene...lovely woman..but the iq of an icecube...sigh..

fortunatly i was saved from losing my temper on the subject when the bride ..(my cousin) not so polietly informed my aunt to back off as her maid of honor was an epileptic...grin...

yep we are everywhere....we just dont wear signs...lol...

and the maid of honor is getting married this summer to the best man of that wedding i may add..smile...

there are people out there hesannie... who accept us for who we are...and who will support you for who you are... those who dont...are not worth your effort hon...

keep looking...smile.. you will find that perfect partner..settle for nothing less...

hugs
heather

Well cut your losses and be glad. You will find someone that loves you for you and everything else will take care of itself.

hugs
pink

I can't even imagine how hard it's been for my sweet boyfriend to see me ill! He has gone through the whole grieving process over all of the pain and symptoms I have! I see sooooo much of my story on the lady who said that it was sooooo ruff at first for the significant other and he was sooooo scared for you and helpless that he tried to explain it away!

We had just started going out when I got sick with sooooo many things, not just seizures and it's taken a STRONG belief in our love and me having to come to terms with feeling helpless as well!

I know I can't do the things I use to and every day is hard, but I muster my ass through every moment and thank my lucky ducky stars I even do just the bare minimum of getting out of bed some days!

I have learned allot trough all these illnesses! That true, deep, unconditional love exist! Love that is about complete acceptance! It's not about having a perfect life and love, it's about having the life and love that is perfect for you! It's that one person that is always going to love you and accept you no matter how crappy you may feel or how scared and helpless you feel!

It's not what you go through...It's how you go through it!

The fact we actually make it through all this pain and are still here is a blessing to behold!

I went sooooo long in my life with sooooo many people doubting me as a person and to have someone that might bug the crap out of me some days and I him, sure, that's life, no one can feel great every single day! I've certainly learned that from all I go through medically!

But to still have someone that you know would die for you if need be is the most special component of what I go through every day!

So don't feel lost dear! There are people out there that will get to know you for you and the perfect person for you will love you for exactly who you are, warts and all!

Take care,
Stay sane!

Perhaps you can think of it this way... when, not if but When, when you find someone worth being with who accepts you for you at all levels through and through, you will finally have found someone very special. Someone who does not flinch at epilepsy is probably not the type to think Hitler is cool or who likes to beat dogs or something like that.
Btw, I have epilepsy and always wanted to date a dancer.
Good luck to you and I am sorry that you had to deal with that date that would really suck.
Just don't let that experience make you stop trying or stop believing in yourself.
(=

I really appreciate everyone's advice. After reading all of the responses, I really started thinking about why the situation bothered me so much, and I think that maybe it isn't so much that one guy couldn't handle the seizers, cause in all reality, I am a WAY bigger handleful without the seizures, so I think if you can handle me, the seizers would be no biggie. The thing I think that has been bothering me is the fact that I am not sure I would hang out with me if I was in his place, as screwed up as that sounds. I have watched videos of people having seizures and to be honest, it is one of the most horrifying and scary thing I have ever witnessed, and to think that I look like that, makes me crazy, specially since I feel so helpless to control it.

In addition to that issue, I also feel like everyone kind of shrugs and say 'oh you have seizures, that sucks' and then moves on. I don't feel like they understand, no matter how hard i try to explain, that it effects me every minute of every day, that it changed every part of my life and that I cant just act like its no big deal.

Side note; if anyone out there wants someone to talk to about everything you are going through, please shoot me a message, I would love to have someone I can turn to on a regular basis about everything.

I am still hanging in there, but honestly, seizures suck!

Welcome to the club.Last time I saw family was over 20 yrs ago.Friendships locally are nill.Ive found solitude from this website b/c others are going thru the same thing I am