Endometriosis Support Group
Endometriosis is a common medical condition where the tissue lining the uterus is found outside of the uterus, typically affecting other organs in the pelvis. The condition can lead to serious health problems, primarily pain and infertility. A major symptom of endometriosis is pain, mostly in the lower abdomen, lower back, and pelvic area.
After months of being in horrible pain and the last two weeks in unimaginable pain, I have seen what it does to my family. Mainly my kids. My son is 4 and my stepsons 3 and 5. Over the last 2days I have been trying so hard for them to not see in pain or just walk away when my moods get the best of me. This has resulted in worse pain. Just now my 3yo son was trying to climb on me and give me a kiss for the 20th time in 5 min. We are having a movie night and hes the last one standing. He was putting his knees in my stomach everytime. I told him you need to lay down and watch the movie or he was going to bed. 5 min later I thought he was asleep so I was going to move him over so he wouldn't kick me. He was not sleeping. He had his face in his pillow and was crying. I felt like the scum of the earth! He told me I don't like you being mean to me anymore. I hugged him and apologized and he seemed to be better. Then he says no one like you when you are mean. Not me brother Nathan or daddy.
I am trying so hard to make things better at least to where they think everythings better. How do you all do this?
I am trying so hard to make things better at least to where they think everythings better. How do you all do this?
My son, who is 10, can sometimes be very sweet to me when I am bad and tries to help me all that he can.
Think of it this way, as an opportunity to teach them to be kind, caring and considerate.
The only thing I feel bad about is that I can't play chase with my 5 year old daughter or play soccer with my son.
Your 3 year old sounds like that he loves his Mum very much. I think he would be very receptive to looking after you if he knew how bad you were. Little boys have a thing for their Mums!
It's not your fault that you are in pain. Sometimes we try and protect our kids too much from the harsh realities of life. I know I do at times.
I understand first hand because my mother probably had endo and never knew/told us. She's get so grumpy, tired, and be just a big 'ol bitch. I have endo and before we knew what it was, my husband would think I was in a funny mood sometimes and would request I "drink some wine" or "take a nap" on those days. :-)
I hated it, but knew that it was better than being the "bitchy" one. Now that I have a diagnosis I feel impowered and SORRY for my mom.
1. talk to your kids. tell them why you get grumpy, are tired, or cannot do X (have them climb on you, chase you around, etc.)
2. remind them that you love them VERY VERY much. That being grumpy is sometimes a reaction to pain, fatigue, or other things.
3. tell them that you want to be thought of as the "happy" mom, but there are some days when this is not possible. They shouldn't judge you because of this, but realize that you are human, not superwoman. :-)
And then keep reminding them of #1 through #3 so that they never forget how much you LOVE them, but don't let them forget that you are human, and with a medical problem.
NEXT: take some time for yourself. When you feel grumpy, when/if possible take hot baths, naps, time to yourself. Ok, my response may be a little preachy, so please take it with a grain of salt.
In the end, I love my mom and I know your kids love you too.
I am feeling worse again today. But I did to much. My husband is on vacation this week and we planned to do as much summer fun stuff possible since he will be able to help me with the kids. I don't want to do that complaining the whole time and being debbie downer. And I do not want take from their fun and have to cancel plans because I feel bad. I guess my plan is to suck it up as much as I can this week because the rest of their summer will be quite boring. And hope that they refill my pain killers! My husband has noticed though and my plan may not go through anyway.
Thank you so much for all if your advice. I plan to use it!