The only thing that keeps me going is my son......if I didn't have him, I would probably feel like the worst person ever.....hope you feel better soon. Just remember there is always hope and it will rescue you when you least expect it. Hugs

I so feel what your saying. I often ask myself that very question, month after month. It totally sucks to be in so much pain all the time. I thought I was going to hurt the Dr's at my last OB office. They just kept telling me that there is nothing wrong. Just take some Ibuprofens for the pain! Some places I tell ya! I hope you start feeling better soon! "Hugs"

Im sure you're not a shitty mom or wife! Try to think of how you contribute to your marriage instead of what you cant do. Its not your fault what you cant do; endo is awful! Im sure you're a wonderful mommy! You're a gorgeous woman, and im sure even more beautiful on the inside, so please remember that! I dont know what surgeon you're seeing, but sometimes they'll cut you a huge break if you cant pay. Id also encourage you to look elsewhere if you need another 14 large! You need this surgery it might be worth it to look for someone else. I know gynecological oncologists will perform excision laps for endometriosis. And a lot fo those Dr's take insurance. Also some RE's do excision laps and take insurance. Im sorry you're feeling so terrible.

For me, I guess theres a little hope left; the unconditional love i get from my husband, my nephew (hes like my son), and my Dad are really what keeps me going.
I also try really hard to do something every day that makes me happy; whether its watching a good movie, or takin a walk, whatever. I find I get really depressed because im in the house for so long cause i cant work, so i need to look forward to something special.
I try to make special nights with my husband every once in a while (and have to freakin cancel cause i get sick or my period)...but my husband will make a reservation at a great restaraunt in NYC, and ill get all dressed up, makeup done, hair done, sexy but age appropriate dress, sexy shoes; im in my pajamas or ratty clothes 99.9% of the time, so its really important to me to feel good on the outside too; and remind my husband he's got a hot wife;-). Oh, and i take like 100 pictures! My husband HATES it! Im the moron with camera always! But i like to capture pics for memories.

Im also working hard at getting SSI, which is like a FT job, Im appealing. I help my husbands business which gives me sense of purpose. I am a certified clean freak, and a really good cook (mostly Italian, thats what I know). That gives me a sense of purpose too, cause my husband works like 13 or 14 hour days, 7 days a week, well he works less hours on the weekends, like 8 hours on Sat and 5 hours Sundays...but double than what he should. So its important to me that when he gets home, hes got a hot plate of meatballs or a good Sunday dinner (He calls me the " the old Italian lady in the kitchen with the big grey bun, and the big mole"! Its a joke, im still only 31.) I also make all of his meals, 3 meals while hes at work. So it saves a ton of $, and its healthier and better homeade food., everythings clean and in perfect order, I always put his supplements are with his dinner, his 3 waters too...so alls he has to do when he gets home is shower, get comfortable, and eat and watch the Yankees if they're still on. So that makes me feel like im helping him; i mean working 70-80 or more hours a week is unheard of. Plus he loves how i care for him, and appreciates it so much, he always says if i didnt do what i do to take care of him and the house, and his business, he couldnt work those hours, and like he says, "do what i do".

I guess generally, besides my family, I just like to look foward to fun things; like we're going to Cape Cod in August...we LOVE it there. Its a really big deal to me, and its really relaxing to both of us. So, sometimes Ill go online and look at the house we're renting and get excited.

I know i wrote a lot, and got really specific, but its a very good and valid question. And I have to say, there have been times when i gave up for a few months...but i got a lot of fight in me. So your post made me think about something so important, that i oddly never thought about before! I never thought about how do i keep going...

My daughter kept me going. She wa s 3 when I first started having pain and 5 when I was diagnosed so she grew up with mommy being sick. It was for her that I struggled to get my degree so that I would pne day be able to make good money and give her a better life. I didn't work from 2000-2007 but did work from home to survive. After my 4th lap I decided I wasn't going to let endo control my life anymore. I have worked almost 6 years.

Stay strong and keep fighting!!!

Thank you gals so mucho till struggling with this I'm trying this periods just so hard his month. My kiddos help me so much my hubs too I just know I can do better if I felt better thank you girls again means a lot

I am in the same boat you are in. It's getting harder and harder. Especially when you feel that way all the time, and you have surgery after surgery without them really trying to fix the problem. They take out the endo then it's back again in like 2months. Then they put you on all these different pills and shots and still no relief.

Guys, I am writing a book on EXACTLY that. The book is going to be a collection of women with endo's stories form all over the world and the ENTIRE point of the book is for the women to express what helped them get through the toughest parts of endo and how , if they were, able to become masters over their endo. The theme of the book is hope. So if any of you bave some great ideas as to what keeps you going and helps you remain hopeful, PLEASE let me know so you could write for my book! You can email me at elnchel@yahoo.com. Sorry I took over your post, ellle81, I just had to get that out there. Please guys, I want to help women everywhere with endo by learning from each other.

I hear you on so many levels! I think for me getting rid of the guilt and the feeling bad about not being able to do something and resting when I need to or just taking it easy has helped a lot.

Also I try to break down my day into segments and try not to think or stress about the next day. So I just do what I can to make it through the morning and then see what I can do in the afternoon etc.

I hope you find something that helps. Have you checked with the hospital that your having the surg at to see if they would offer some financial aid? I don't have ins at the moment either and it makes me want to scream that I have to fight so hard for treatments to :(