Sucks, I'm so sorry to hear this. Hang in there, I hope the doctor can provide something. I just don't understand why this condition is not better known.

Anyway, hang in there.

CC

thanks

Just don't give up!

Endo may have taken everything away, but it does not have you or your life. You are a fighter. Even though I don't know you I know you are a fighter because as of 5/12/14 @ 10:28am you made a decision to type and not give up.

I'm not going to tell you it will get better, because I don't know if it will. I pray that it will, but I don't know. What I do know is that you can do it because you've been fighting this battle and you haven't been defeated yet.

I know that sometimes we are right on the edge and it seems like there is no way out. If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself, please talk to someone. Endo takes enough... don't let it take you or your spirit.

Stay strong!

Thank you so much! Sorry, I'm sure everyone gets mopey but damn this is hard. And it's not who I am.

Don't apologize at all. Most of us have been there. I just want you to be okay. Never apologize for your feelings. It's hard and no one is minimizing that. Keep your head up :)

Thanks. I guess it's time to give in. My problem is my doc strongly suspects adeno too so it's like what do I do? I couldn't even get out of bed on Saturday it ruined everything. Its getting worse and worse. ugh! How are you feeling?

Hey Alana...I'm 20 years (diagnosed) into this, so believe me...I understand. I won't tell you it gets better because that's bull shit in my case. The BEST we can hope for is to find a doctor who CARES enough to help us manage this MONSTER.

There is no such thing for me, it seems...even in the fucking ER. He told me that it would be mal-practice to administer antibiotic IV push to a patient with clear urine. I told the prick it will only show in culture. It did. By Friday, I was back with diagnosis. He put me on oral Levaquin for 30 days and lectured me on possible renal failure.

I have been fighting an ecoli infection since 2012 that put me in the ER twice last week. My rectal and vaginal anatomy was compromised by endo and forever altered by surgery to save my life. The thought of ecoli (though quite normal for most women) makes me throw up in my mouth a little. NASTY!!! No, it's not a poor hygiene issue...It's impossible to avoid, with chronic painful constipation causing hemorrhoids that feel like they will rip wide open.

I, too am weary after I surrendered to pain management in January of this year. The 3 drugs we've tried thus far (separately) have not touched my pain. (Methadone, Morphine, now Oxycodone). The opiates have only caused horrid side effects of intense night sweats and itching. My doctor wants me on Fentanyl patch, but I don't have prescription coverage. I NEED a surgeon to take another look-see inside because there's NO DOUBT that either residual endo or adhesions are literally killing me by shutting down my organs. The coroner will find it in my autopsy.

Until then I have no choice but to FIGHT. The song by Ben Harper inspires me "Don't Let Em Take the Fight Outta You"...You've got the FIGHT, girl. Gr-r-r-r! Don't let this beat you=)

~~Pup

I really think you need to have a lap...once you know exactly what you are dealing with it will be easier for you to go forward with a plan of action.

That's what I'm discussing with my doctor Friday. I couldn't I had too much going on with work and now my coworker who JUST FUCKING started a week ago is taking TEN FUCKING DAYS off so I cant get it once again. It's really aggravating I have been working here for four years and cant take a day off ever for surgery because everyone else has much more important things to do. It really irritates me. Since she never asked and I do and I get denied. Granted I work for my dad and am supposed to set an example. But I cant very well be recovering from surgery at work. Hence it hasn't happened. If I could get it done Friday and be back Monday which I'm sure is what it's gonna lead too than OK, otherwise I just cant do it.

Ok....here's the thing....you are going to have to find a way to put yourself first. You cannot stay in the place you currently find yourself (it's not ok for you to be feeling suicidal). I find it absolutely ridiculous that your dad will not give you time off work to have surgery. Something is obviously going on in your body that needs to be fixed.
I hope after your Dr appt you will be able to figure it all out. You are worth having a life worth living!!

It's not the fact that he wont its the fact he cant with employees not coming in and decided to go on vacation whenever they feel like I cant simply take off. That's true of any job, you need employees to stay open, but every other minute it's something else. Yeah, obviously I cant keep this going, I know that, but the fact of the matter is I cant simply take off and leave everyone in a crappy position. Because without her it's only me and my dad. Hardly functional.

I've had days like this too, it's a tough life. It took me a long time to even accept that this would be my life from now on. I've accepted I'll be on pain medication my whole life and am still experimenting with different drugs to find out which combo will knock me out so I don't use those for work and which ones can dumb down the pain so that I can at least work but not get zonked out.

It's a tough life. And work, I totally get that too. I did the best thing for me when it came to work. I resigned. They were treating me horribly because I was sick and and at surgery so I made the decision that my health was more important to me then being a people pleaser.

I've learnt to deal with my endo and just started a new job that seems so much more relaxed and supportive but I guess we'll wait and see. But I just think it's important to rest your body and mind so we can fight the fights that come up again.

Good luck!

Alana, that's my point...there is always going to be "something". Your dad should be putting your health before his company. He's letting his other employees not come in and take vacations when they want without the ok and yet they still have a job!! If you keep putting this off you are eventually not going to be able to work (if your symptoms you spoke of stay as is or get worse)...and then you will be of no help to your dad. The fact of the matter is you CAN take the time off and leave everyone in a crappy situation for a few days. (the other employees are taking time off and leaving you in a crappy situation!) It's not your responsibility to be there to keep your dad's business going....it's his responsibility to have people there to work.
I completely understand your position, please don't think I don't. I am a nanny and work for 5 different families....it was a nightmare trying to coordinate a "good time" for all of them for me to be off for two weeks (I had an ovary removed so it had to be longer time off). I eventually just had to schedule it and they had to deal with it. My health and well-being are important....and they just had to be ok with it. I was worried about them being able to cope without me...but the truth of the matter is it's not my problem how they deal with me being off (whether it's for illness, surgery, or vacation)....that's their responsibility to have a back-up.
I hope your dr's appt on Friday goes well....and that they are able to help you without surgery. But if they suggest surgery I hope you are able to talk to your dad about how important this is and that you need time off. (my job is too physical for me to go back after a couple days but if you have a desk job....it's reasonable to say you could go back in a few days....and if you were able to have it done on a Friday...you'd probably be able to go back tues or wed. so that would only be a couple days off. I don't know what type of company it is....is there any way you could do some work from home??)
Wishing you all the best!!! Be sure to let us know how it goes!!

You think it'll only be 5 days recovery? Truthfully, Im worried that it'll be made worse. My boyfriend was trying desperately to have sex last night and I was like I cant I'm in pain and it'll just be made worse. I hate living like that (and trust me I DO want to have sex)! But what if this actually makes it worse than better? That's my fear!

Surgery itself is not going to make your problems worse...especially if it's just a diagnostic one. (If you don't want kids they can do an ablation at that time for your heavy bleeding issues....That can also be done w/o the lap)
For me, no recovery was longer than 5 days but I've read of so many ladies on here who did go back to work in 3-5 days...you will not be fully recovered in 3-5 days but it might be possible that you could go back that soon. So it is possible.