Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

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WMLaw 08/04/2019

Don't get me wrong I am glad that I have the memories and that I was conscious about enjoying every second I had with my kids when they were young, but I wonder when I can get to the point that I can begin enjoying those memories.

I'm trying to get into better shape and last night decided to go for a walk after dinner. Down the road is a park with a nice lighted pathway so I went that way for my walk as I'd know that I would have gotten a worthwhile distance in on my walk. When I got divorced and moved out of the marital home, I lived close to this same park and it was where the kids and I would go to spend a lot of time... we'd walk the pathways, play on the swings and slides, fish in the lake, even go snow sledding there in the winter. Getting down there last night the memories of the times there with my young children felt like stabs into my heart. They were wonderful times with love and laughter on a daily/nightly basis... wonderful memories.

Songs on the radio reminding me of times with them. The drive to places we frequented together. Stores we shopped at. All painful to me now.

maria718 08/04/2019

Ahhh the good ole' days. How I wish we could go back in time.
The department store, Macy's, there used to be one right near my apartment. I used to take my daughter there all the time, buy her things, and she'd race up the stairs to beat me on the escalator. When that store closed, I was actually traumatized. Really. I couldn't stop thinking about the memories in that store. I even kept talking about it. For years. Actually, even writing this I'm sad over it.
You sound like I did. Cherish those memories, they're great ones. Please don't get too depressed over this. Yes it's sad, but don't go overboard with this. It will get to you.

WMLaw 08/04/2019

Thanks Maria. Your story did bring me a big smile. Early on after my divorce from their mom, my youngest was 6 and while we were sitting around the house one night with nothing to do she asked if we could go to Macy's and ride the escalator. We lived an hour from the nearest Macy's but I couldn't think of any other reason to say no. So we piled into the car, drove to Macy's and the 3 kids that were with me and myself rode up and down the escalators... until the cosmsetics ladies told me we needed to stop. Ironically our Macy's closed about a couple of years ago now too.

Thanks again for the wise words and the chance to smile about a memory. I guess just not remembering alone helps.

Trailrunner 08/05/2019

Hi; I tried to start a post saying much of the same things you said and something went wrong with the site and it wouldnt send.... Me and technology don't exactly get along! Don't have much time to post right now, but just wanted to know how much I can relate. Sometimes it just helps to know you're not alone :)

WMLaw 08/05/2019

Thanks Trailrunner. It does help to just know there are people out there listening(reading). It just sometimes feels like you're grabbing for something to hold onto and there's nothing there to keep you from falling into the sadness. When you put it out there and someone is there, you're able to grasp something to keep you up.

I've been through tough times and I'm not completely alone... yet... and I knew this would be hard, but I wasn't prepared for how hard it is. Just hearing from you and Maria helped.

FOF9303 08/05/2019

I certainly understand where you are coming from. My daughter is recently married and asked that we watch old home movies-- it kills me every time. I laugh and then sob through them. I miss the days when my kids were little. It was truly the best time in my life - I guess if we are blessed and lucky - maybe we get to relive a little bit of those wonderful times with our grandchildren and can see our children through them. I hear it is wonderful . Blessings to you :)

WMLaw 08/05/2019

Hi FOF! Congratulations for your daughter's wedding. May she have much happiness and before too long give you those grandchildren!

LovetheOcean 09/17/2019

I can relate so much to you’re post. My youngest just left last weekend for college, and I feel like my brain has been doing a perpetual rewind of all the fun times we had. Although they’re wonderful & priceless memories, it’s so painful to think about. I’ve had to close her bedroom door because the thought of looking in is unbearable. This is so much harder than I expected.

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